Today, I was dared to walk home through a rough part of town. My rep hung in the balance, so I accepted. A kid kicked a football in my direction, so I kicked it back at him hard. It hit him in the nuts, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life from three bald, shirtless, six-packed thugs. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML
Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a skinhead sucker-punched me in the gut, grabbed my football, and ran away, giggling like a maniac. FML
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I was walking around in a park when I passed some kids playing soccer. One of them kicked the ball as hard as he could at me. Luckily, I caught the ball, then I drop-kicked it, intending to say, "Go get it." Instead, it bounced off a nearby tree and hit me in the face. FML
Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML
Today, some guy on the street threatened to stab me. I called his bluff, and walked away. He wasn't bluffing. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
haw008 14
Your "rep" won't matter when you're dead.
stuth186 7
At least they were only chasing you, you can't outrun a bullet
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (177)
LuckyTxMade 0
Run son!
kaoriblossom 8
I hope his name isn't Kenny.....
Wheredidgrungego 12
They just wanted you on their team!
Arivien 3
YDI for caring more about your Rep than your safety.
cdogLuvs2golf 0
If you are that accurate then you should play football and be a punter
KiddNYC1O 20
Fair catch! Fair catch!
every1luvsboners 11
Either fall on the ground and play dead or rip off all your clothes and start break-dancing until they think that you're crazier than a shit-house rat.
ryanst 7
Another excerpt from Boner's Guide to Surviving the Ghetto.
Brandi_Faith 33
Ah yes, when in doubt use the crazy card! Another thought for if you're ever cornered and about to get beaten up; tell them you have aids. That way they'll be too afraid to throw a punch because they won't want your blood splattering all over them while they use you as a punching bag. Of course that's only if they don't already have aids themselves. No, like Boners said, when in doubt play the crazy card!
kidwiththeface42 7
Don't forget to yell "Come at me bros!".
cdogLuvs2golf 0
RUN!! FOREST!! RUN
WikedFury 7
lmao YDI!
RabidBunny 10
Your reputation may be saved but you have forsaken the only remnants of dignity you have. Dares are stupid, and the fact that you would care about something so stupid as "rep" shows that you don't have much sense in you.
bachooka 5
All I could imagine once he said rep was a reflectively white lame-a-zoid. No one with a "rep" has to point it out...
brown4lifejot 1
The only rep you would get with doing major dares is bein a daredevil, so is it really worth it??
heralynn1011 0
Least your rep will boost : you ran from some thugs and got away? Right?
Sniper3000 0
Why would you actually do it? I couldn't care less what they call me if I said no