Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house. I wanted to tease him, so I got his attention and made my orgasm face when I thought no one was looking. His thirteen year-old cousin saw and now bursts out laughing whenever he sees me. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I had an appointment for laser hair removal. He responded by making "pew pew" noises and pretending to shoot my underarms. He's 28. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I met my new boyfriend’s family for the first time. Unfortunately for me, his dad walked in to ask what we wanted for dinner while we were having sex. Even worse was that my boyfriend kept going while his dad was there, and his dad later said he was glad I was “the woman”. FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend home, and I introduced him to my parents. Afterwards, I took him to my room so we could have some "bonding" time. Right as things got pretty intense, I heard my dad yell, "Stop faking, honey." FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML
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Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
It was a mammogram, some damn women just can't be thankful enough for the little things.
LolFMLnot 10
That awkward moment when your bf touches your boobs in front of his parents and his parents look so proud.
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Comments (198)
jonator 0
first
metallicatime 0
Ya and so was ur mom spreading her legs queer
every1luvsboners 11
It was a mammogram, some damn women just can't be thankful enough for the little things.
CraneTG 0
And then all the other family members thought it seemed fun and wanted to try it out for themselves! "PEW PEW PEW"
Spinnmaster 1
Agreed, she needs to get back in the kitchen too!!!
ikickgingers 15
How little ? O.o
JustHello123 1
Wow haha I would've laughed cause thats funny lol
IphonFML 6
dont blame him, blame star wars
drewfus2 6
Selfish women. Those aliens almost got him.
fabian21 0
Like that other FML about a boyfriend that did the same laser sound. Lasers are pretty badass, anyway.
LolFMLnot 10
I can't help but notice everyone thumps down #22 comments. It's kind of sad :(
fatgirllovesfml 0
Why aren't you in the kitchen anyway? Make yourself at home...clean their kitchen woman!
kaprookie 3
Well OP thats what you get for dating children
TheDeadlyTurtle 7
Boobs and lasers my favorite pair
changesinme 0
I can't believe it's peanut butter!
leadman1989 15
23 - Or star trek "Set the boobs to stun"
kristen69 0
Totally right!!
luckymagruder 4
Funny stuff right there!
flavboarder 9
It's not stars it's teh laser **** from the capita totally fkn awesome
edgestr 2
Your all wrong it's from Austin Powers. The fembots.
HetaliaFreak 10
I didn't know there were preschoolers on FML....
Osito2011 9
45 and 153 grow up and enjoy the laser show.
Naitras 15
152 - says the 14 year old
keitorinm 0
smooooth
Spinnmaster 1
Like Keith Stone!
potatoesFTW 1
I like potatoes
rkmepm 16
I like turtles
NomOnShroomz 14
Like my shit after a box of brand buds.
beckybecks20 8
I highly doubt this actually happened.
jobo50123 3
It could have been worse ... his nipples could have been erect ..
StoryOfTheYear 14
That's an opinion.
awagh666 14
It could have been worse. His dad could have grabbed his mum's breasts and you could have had an inter galactic showdown.... Pew pew pew....
NippsSlipps 10
Lawl! That made me laugh hard!
amam96 7
I cried, I was just laughing so hard.
JayJ17 7
Your fault you went out with him...
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
Why are you dating a child in the first place. Damn pedophile...
ONExLOVE_fml 4
Try reading the FML one more time. -.-
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
Try reading my comment one more time.
LolFMLnot 10
That awkward moment when your bf touches your boobs in front of his parents and his parents look so proud.
pie29302930 0
I've been looking at your pic and I still can't figure out what it is. Haha I'm stupid.
pie29302930 0
I mean I get what it's supposed to represent, but what is it, like actually? Does that make any sense? Haha
LolFMLnot 10
Haha don't worry , even i don't know what it is. I just put it because it's funny, but it doesn't mean anything.
gamercanadian 11
Its a radish lol mainly grown in south east Asia
ShyAnn29 14
It's a funny looking radish lol!
haw008 14
I would politely excuse myself to the restroom, and just never come back.
pie29302930 0
Dick move, well I guess in this FML case, a vaginal move. Ha ha ha get it?
eharmonee 0
Fail. Just fail.
icanseethesky13 1
Well, you're in his house..so..
babiebuntin 7
And is this considered "normal" in his family? O_o
mrbattleman 10
laser-boob beats everything! =D
pie29302930 0
Pew pew pew.
ohmandapants 16
So then dump him! It's fairly simple. If you "can't believe" you're dating him, just stop dating him. Gotta kiss a few frogs before you find the prince! Your boyfriend is one of those frogs.
ejjamael 5
or the right **** to fit your ******
DingoCJ 15
More like a weird little toad..
Solano2580 24
#11 this is hardly something worth ending a relationship over. Also by your comparisons i'm guessing you're single and have been for some time, you sound really bitter