Love: Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to...

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 06:58 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 808

You deserved it 3 122

Love

Walk the line

Stop talking!

Another great day to be alive

By overthehorizon - 27/07/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I thought I would surprise my dad by mowing our entire 2 acre lawn. When he got home, instead of being grateful like I had hoped, he yelled at me for cutting in vertical lines instead of horizontal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 451

You deserved it 4 182

I wish!

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 11:00

Today, my sister saw an empty bottle of squirty cream in my bedroom, and now her and my siblings keep teasing me about how I must have a really kinky sex life. Truth is, I ate the cream by myself with cake, chocolate and biscuits, because I was depressed about it actually being 2 years since I had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 195

By ILoveLamps - 25/03/2015 06:26 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 170

You deserved it 2 858

Life's what you make it

By ratherbealone - 27/10/2020 02:06 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I don't want to go to work because I hate my boss, but once I'm there, I won't want to go home because I hate my husband. I have nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 123

You deserved it 427

By nicholascageonyourface - 09/06/2013 05:13 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 349

You deserved it 5 131

Kill me now

By bademployee - 12/08/2014 23:16 - United States - Portland

Today, my boss had a lengthy and obnoxiously egocentric conversation with a colleague. After she left across the office, I stood up, looked over at my colleague, and made a sarcastic "shooting myself in the head" gesture. I saw my boss staring at me over a cubicle wall as I turned around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 835

You deserved it 21 592

Reliable

By Anonymous - 14/09/2020 20:01

Today, aside from clearing out my bank accounts and having an affair, the kicker was finding out my fiancé planned on taking himself and his mistress to Cancun for his birthday, while I would be attending the Marine Corps boot camp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 572

You deserved it 119

By Anonymous - 01/08/2009 00:56 - United States

Today, this guy I have been hanging out with for a while came over and we were about to do it. He pulled off my clothes and once I was naked I reached for his zipper. He just backed up and said he was a virgin and simply wanted to see me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 936

You deserved it 12 253

By ModernDayMaid - 25/03/2019 22:00

Today was just like any other normal day. Spent the day cleaning the house from top to bottom. I felt great until I went into just about every room I’d cleaned and saw that it was messed up again with zero attempts from my stepdaughter to clean it back up. I really hate preteens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 916

You deserved it 277

The price is wrong

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 08:01

Today, I have to pay a $20 customs fee on the replacement charging cord for my tablet pen, bringing the total up to $60 I’ve paid for this $4 cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 201

You deserved it 275

By jackpot - 09/05/2011 01:53 - Venezuela

Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 405

You deserved it 3 008

Looking for another one!

By Anonymous - 20/12/2019 01:00

Today, I finally got a Christmas gift, a calligraphy set, for my father that I have been looking for for a month. My dad came home happily with the same calligraphy set today, saying that he surprised himself for Christmas. He got it cheaper than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 215

By divorcee - 06/09/2012 03:27 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I got back to work. Last week, my divorce was finalized and my last name is, once again, my maiden name. Since I'm a teacher, all my students will remember me by my ex-husband's last name. I get to be reminded every day that my marriage failed until everyone memorizes my maiden name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 024

You deserved it 4 061

By amireallyloved - 17/02/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, I found out the reason my boyfriend asked me out was because the fortune ball app on his iPod told him to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 316

You deserved it 3 475

By Anonymous - 13/08/2012 18:48 - United Kingdom - Goole

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 946

You deserved it 5 187

By ash - 18/05/2016 20:00 - United States - Winnebago

Today, I went shopping on my only day off. The only aisle open was self-checkout. I'm a cashier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 918

You deserved it 1 751

By Malpal - 23/01/2009 11:03 - United States

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 522

You deserved it 29 539

By Anonymous - 22/10/2010 04:00 - United States

Today, I was going to my first job interview since I was laid off. About 10 yards from the door, I felt a sharp pain in my side and something in my pocket. It turned out to be a knife in my side, and a mugger robbing me because I looked rich. I haven't had any money in months, and missed the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 303

You deserved it 2 866

By INeedMoney - 28/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, I just finished my first week of unemployment. I don't have any money. I also just finished the last toilet paper roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 639

You deserved it 5 008

By fmll - 17/12/2011 13:17 - Norway

Today, my boyfriend texted me and said I had forgotten my blue bra. I don't have any blue bras. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 499

You deserved it 3 431

By graospe - 12/12/2009 01:31 - United States

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 498

You deserved it 30 870

By Anonymous - 31/05/2015 20:36 - United States - Temecula

Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 708

You deserved it 6 055

Kinky.

By Domo731 - 05/11/2017 13:00 - United States - Johnson City

Today, I drank from a soda can that was on my floor. Unfortunately, it was my boyfriend’s pee. He was too lazy to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 289

You deserved it 4 873

By maybe dead in a day - 20/01/2013 19:28 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 800

You deserved it 4 228

By TheCerealKiller - 07/08/2012 09:19 - United States - Northridge

Today, I had an upset stomach. I decided to quickly take out the trash before heading to the bathroom. As I opened the trash can lid, a raccoon jumped out. I learned the literal meaning of being scared shitless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 245

You deserved it 2 699

By naomids - 30/12/2011 00:29 - United States

Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 178

You deserved it 3 003

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 898

You deserved it 7 539

By ITSnotFUNNYtoMEass - 25/05/2009 08:54 - United States

Today, my mom talked about how it's interesting how there's so many different size of penises. She also told me that since she's doing hormone therapy she's able to orgasm a LOT more. We were stuck in stop and go traffic for 3 hours. When I turned on the radio, she turned it off and talked more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 007

You deserved it 5 492

By notsomuchinlove - 07/08/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 018

You deserved it 7 581

By duhasiangirl - 15/11/2012 00:48 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 254

You deserved it 2 732

By burnswhenipee - 08/04/2015 00:47 - Canada - London

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 056

You deserved it 5 514

By Lewis - 04/09/2010 11:02 - Australia

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 199

You deserved it 34 325

Facebook's moderation sucks

By Anonymous - 06/03/2021 07:01 - United States - Afton

Today, I got put in Facebook jail for telling a guy fat shaming a girl he was a "s*x*st b*st*rd." Immediately after, FB informed me that a person I reported for threats didn't violate community standards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 743

You deserved it 296

By omgwtf - 01/06/2019 04:00

Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 531

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, I asked my friends what NNAS was code for. They have been using this for about a month. After bothering one of them for a few hours, he finally told me. NNAS stands for Nataly Needs A Shower. I'm Nataly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 471

You deserved it 52 137

By Anonymous - 24/06/2012 05:01 - United States - Sacramento

Today, my boyfriend told me I was almost perfect. And the only reason I'm not completely perfect is because I don't like Mountain Dew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 298

You deserved it 29 634

By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 18:47 - United States - Indiana

Today, I got locked out of my car for an hour in frigid weather at a busy gas station. Every time I tried to use the key, the alarm went off and the locks wouldn't work. The car company claims they've never heard of this happening. I just bought it last week after taking out a 5 year loan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 825

You deserved it 2 725

By banned - 09/03/2012 06:59 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 116

You deserved it 7 733

By Italian_Stallion - 16/02/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I was at the airport, about to listen to Disney's Camp Rock soundtrack on my iPhone. I pressed play, only to realize that my headphones weren't plugged in all the way. Everone sitting near me heard Joe Jonas' voice coming from my phone. I am 40 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 091

You deserved it 68 132

By rochellamaya - 02/09/2011 12:47 - Canada

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 196

You deserved it 4 255

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Top comments

jenjen53 7

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:12

Shame on her for being a bigot.

stingray112 24

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:16

Put her on psychiatric hold

jenjen53 7

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:12

Shame on her for being a bigot.

Iwannarock1 19

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Sunday 6 March 2016 11:07

If he's Iranian, eventually he'll want her to succumb to his ways.

YuckyDuckyLucky 17

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Sunday 6 March 2016 16:06

Bigot

quinn1184 25

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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False_Stupidity 41

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:58

What would trump be doing in Israel?

zuvi9 21

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Sunday 6 March 2016 1:21

*Drumpf

LT_Silva101 18

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Sunday 6 March 2016 1:24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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IronMan_Mk43 20

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Sunday 6 March 2016 9:29

why y'all talkin about Israel? the bf is from Iran... Iranian = from Iran, Israeli = from Israel

IronMan_Mk43 20

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Sunday 6 March 2016 9:32

oh nvm just realised OP is from Israel

BEEEEES 15

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Sunday 6 March 2016 10:10

He's actually a pretty chill guy.

jlmartin411 15

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Monday 7 March 2016 0:27

I wish I could thumbs up this comment a million times

redblips 13

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:16

Wow I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're better off with him than your own mother which I imagine is very upsetting.

stingray112 24

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:16

Put her on psychiatric hold

websphere69 27

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Sunday 6 March 2016 5:30

to bad we can't do a double thumbs up....

WCARlover 34

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:17

Luckily it only really matters what you think OP. It's unfortunate your mom is so ignorant and judge mental but he sounds like a great guy and if you are happy with him that's what counts

ThatHorse 15

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:45

Unless the mother is a psych doctor and actually tries to have her own kid committed. Then it matters a great deal with she thinks.

interesting33 36

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Sunday 6 March 2016 1:27

Doesn't matter so much if her reasoning is that awful though and other people involved in the process have level heads. But if she then gives other reasons that would be harder.

intertk555 11

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:25

I thought moms were supposed to be supportive.... good luck op

djurmel89 30

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:26

Wow your mother is one ignorant person, OP. I'm really sorry about, you so not deserve this. I hope you told her to go to hell or something. This is not acceptable.

websphere69 27

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Sunday 6 March 2016 5:32

isn't everyone entitled to their own opinion no matter how bigoted it may be? I don't agree with her mom but I do agree it sucks....

Sulphuric_Glue 16

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Monday 7 March 2016 11:47

#48 Everyone is entitled to their opinion but some opinions are, for want of a better phrase, fucking stupid

Avi8r 22

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:30

Brace yourselves, here comes the "xenophobic" and "Islamophobic" comments...

Steve97 32

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:30

I can see the comments being disabled on this one

kivutar 6

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Sunday 6 March 2016 0:31

Damn... I was almost in your position, but my fairly racist family ended up liking my lovely Persian guy. Don't lose hope! Maybe she'll come round when she gets to know him.