Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Repetition

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

agreeclassic 36 811

vote type 1 4 453

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By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

agreeclassic 23 349

vote type 1 2 780

Automaton

By Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

agreeclassic 47 751

vote type 1 9 569

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

agreeclassic 26 833

vote type 1 10 215

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

agreeclassic 56 486

vote type 1 7 341

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 01:37 - United States - Duarte

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

agreeclassic 32 377

vote type 1 4 890

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

agreeclassic 31 414

vote type 1 5 770

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

agreeclassic 31 671

vote type 1 9 540

So sensual...

By Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

agreeclassic 9 134

vote type 1 1 178

Gamers rise up

By jokersgirl - 21/05/2019 04:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had the wildest sex we'd ever had. I was on top of him and started going at it like crazy. I was close to finishing when the Mortal Kombat phrase "FINISH HIM!" popped into my head. It wasn't until I saw a weird look on his face that I realized I'd said it out loud. FML

agreeclassic 2 356

vote type 1 907

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

agreeclassic 1 790

vote type 1 497

Dick_diamond 22

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:14

Was he trying to give directions to himself? Afraid he might skip a step?

RobinGoodfellow 47

Thursday 26 February 2015 8:14

While I think it's a good idea to not force sex to be a serious thing, I also think that that's weird and not remotely sexy.

Comments

confusedone1221 5

Friday 27 February 2015 0:09

men can be such pigs!

EmoKami 21

Friday 27 February 2015 0:19

"Access Denied"

wallmaria 15

Friday 27 February 2015 3:20

omfg

Oceanu 14

Friday 27 February 2015 4:00

I'm sorry to tell you this but you're dating a psycho.

anthony99 14

Friday 27 February 2015 4:10

Are you dating J.P. from Grandmas Boy?

nialls_girl 13

Friday 27 February 2015 5:07

Does he not know how sex works?

CBOokami 13

Friday 27 February 2015 5:37

Did you try turning him off then on?

doctorhook86 24

Friday 27 February 2015 5:48

I voted YDI because OP could've just asked him to stop.

RoamingHobo 9

Friday 27 February 2015 7:38

He said it wrong. He is supposed to say "The olé in and out."

mister_icicle 17

Friday 27 February 2015 12:13

That's an "enter"esting habit he's got there.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I resorted to trying to guilt trip my husband into getting his prostate checked. He asked for one good reason why he should, so I said because he has two kids who don’t want to see him get prostate cancer. His response, "Nope, not good enough, now leave me alone." FML

agreeclassic 428

vote type 1 184

Today, my psycho ex tried to call the cops on me for "poisoning her food." I live two hours away from her, and have no money or gas to go anywhere near her. Turns out, she poisoned herself for eating raw chicken and pizza dough. I have a child with this idiot. FML

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Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

agreeclassic 56 769

vote type 1 7 571

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

agreeclassic 54 619

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Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML

agreeclassic 62 446

vote type 1 5 151

Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML

agreeclassic 33 665

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