Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML
Today, while I was eating, a fly kept pissing me off. After three minutes of it buzzing around, I caught it and killed it. Then, without realizing it, I smeared its guts all over the front of my shirt. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
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Top comments
evan_7899 28
Fly:1 Idiot:0
luckysilverbell 5
It's FMLs like this one that make me wish I had a penis.
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Comments (93)
Pat77235 8
I hope you don't play any ball sports near busy roads...
chutney_02 22
It's only practise for the future, if you know what I mean...
noobienick 19
No, I don't know what you mean.
JMichael 25
The trick is not to get it everywhere OP.
Cuppycake1 6
Kinda reminds me of people that play cod that's why I play battlefield now...
OctoDope 15
Excellent choice
junkman6 22
The newest iterations of both are complete shit. I think doom 3D had better shooter mechanics than either one.
epic13 12
Filthy casuals...
dachayke 16
#42 because back when doom was made, games actually had personality. people who think call of duty, halo, and battlefield are good games have never seen a good game before.
bellles 18
This made me laugh more than it should have haha. I'm just picturing the other guys face when he walked in.
mderaita 7
Hahahaha too funny.
That_Ginger 18
Poor OP.. He was only trying to help that fly. It got stung by a jellyfish and was too proud to get peed on to ease the pain.
lendary 7
And this is why public restrooms suck so much.
ZombieSazza 34
I feel bad for the guy who just walked in, imagine his face.
Futacy 29
Today, after a week-long chain of complaints reporting piss all over the floor and flies everywhere I walked into the bathroom to find a man peeing all over the wall and floor. I hate public bathrooms. FML
worldclassrager 39
Why would you follow it?