Intimacy: Out in the wild

Out in the wild

By Welpthatwasfast - 10/06/2016 07:57

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 452

You deserved it 2 162

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By liveforpeace_ - 28/04/2009 06:27 - Canada

Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235 450

You deserved it 13 611

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 677

I'm just saying…

By dirty boy - 05/07/2021 11:00

Today, what started as an amazing day with hiking, a picnic, more hiking, then a romantic nature walk, ended in a ridiculous screaming match between me and my boyfriend. I only asked him to shower before laying in our bed when we got home, since we were covered in sweat, bug bites and dirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 129

City slicker

By Anonymous - 01/03/2022 22:00

Today, my new boyfriend is such a city boy he couldn’t handle one night of pretend camping in the garden. Apparently, it was too cold, he ran out of Diet Coke, and just generally got bored, so he went back inside to watch TV in bed, but sure, he wants to hike in the mountains with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 203

By -_- - 28/07/2013 22:58 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 769

You deserved it 7 551

By kanmcdan - 22/04/2019 00:00

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a Snowshoeing date. I felt sick and suggested we turn back. He said I could wait in the car and continued on the date alone. He was gone for hours, while I was stuck alone in a national park with no cell reception, food, or water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 527

You deserved it 413

By anonymous - 14/07/2012 05:06 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend and I were at a park, alone, late at night. Things were getting kind of heavy and he started undressing me, when we heard a loud "Hey!" and a flashlight coming through the bushes. My boyfriend then decided to ditch me, while still holding my shirt and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 534

You deserved it 9 904

By not even a sexy bushfire - 25/10/2012 16:27 - Australia - Kelmscott

Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 800

You deserved it 2 487

City boy

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 00:00 - Switzerland

Today, I walked 30 minutes with my new boyfriend from my chalet to the local supermarket, cutting through the woods. It was dark, but the moon shone bright and we had torches. He was so scared, he startled at every noise and even cried. When we got to town, he dumped me, and left on the next train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 166

By AnnoyedWoman - 17/08/2014 10:19 - United Kingdom - Southampton

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 458

You deserved it 5 603

Tripartita 44

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:15

Then a nearby game of hide and seek breaks out, adding to the confusion when the seeker shouts, "ready or not, here I come!"

Weymere 11

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:01

That sounds like a rocky start to a good time

Comments

Weymere 11

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:01

That sounds like a rocky start to a good time

sherri_baby88 36

Sunday 7 August 2016 4:59

More like a rocky start to an underwhelming time. :-/

cootiequeen4444 11

Sunday 7 August 2016 7:19

whoosh. while it's not kosher to explain jokes I will explain anyways.. for educational purposes. nah just kidding. I'm not that pompous. I just know I like things explained to me when I'm confused or mistaken so why not? it was a pun joke thing. a rocky start like a shaky aka not very good start to a good time. thus a rocky start to an underwhelming time wouldn't even make sense using the same context (saying ? idiom? idk.)

AirBusDriver 23

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:02

Come again?

cootiequeen4444 11

Sunday 7 August 2016 7:22

this is a sorely underrated comment.

Tripartita 44

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:15

Then a nearby game of hide and seek breaks out, adding to the confusion when the seeker shouts, "ready or not, here I come!"

cuz803 44

Sunday 7 August 2016 4:54

I give an absolute **** about your FML profile :)

rhyspiecesno8 18

Sunday 7 August 2016 22:13

I mean I'm not gay but the comments you make almost make me become gay. And that's why I'll give you a ****

toolazytotype99 18

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:17

A bumpy start and a quick finish. Never good for outdoor fun

crudeandrudeguy 29

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:18

Sounds like a pathetic excuse for a premature ejaculator... Not that I would know anything at all about premature ejaculation. I promise...

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:30

I did that in the mountains of Alaska & we got caught by dogs from a hiker. good times.

TacoTheDank 27

Monday 8 August 2016 14:44

How cold was it up there?

TheLadyOpal 30

Sunday 7 August 2016 3:52

An isolated clearing is still technically out in the open, so I think I can understand why he still felt exposed. Don't be too tough on him and hopefully you'll both be able to give it another shot someday soon.