crazystar69
United States
Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
birdbath
United States
Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML
lbg2msf
Biloxi, United States
Today, I walked under a tree and heard birds chirping from above. I stopped and looked up, only to catch a face full of bird shit. FML
FarmerGirl
Brossard, Canada
Farm life
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
Anonymous
Canada
When you gotta go…
Today, I was walking my big, fat, fluffy old dog when I saw my crush. I waved enthusiastically, but my dog chose that moment to squat down and unleash a string of poop. My crush looked horrified as I tried to scoop it up while still waving. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
wheelchairgirl
Denmark
Snap!
Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML
fmlman
Rawlins, United States
Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML
Mojo
United Kingdom
Today, my crush took me to a park and told me he loved me. We sat on an old bench and were just about to kiss when I screamed. I now have a huge splinter in my arse and he can't stop laughing. FML
Anonymous
From a great height
Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML
icarlypoop
Good impressions last
Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 38
When people say not to get shit-faced on a first date, this is NOT what they mean.
firegecko123 0
OH DAMN!
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Comments (131)
capt_awesome1 11
at least it's good luck ! (:
newfiegirl 8
a bird craping on you is good luck!? Lol
blackbird31 0
crapping has two p's and shat is the past tense of shit.
firegecko123 0
OH DAMN!
PeteyPablo12308 20
It's a sign of love.
EatnBeef 7
protect your face OP!!!!
rebekahmarie 0
Even the bird thinks you're full of shit.
pokopiko 9
Teehee, puns are so amusingly cheesy.
dre_bro11 12
Isn't it meant to be good luck if a bird ***** on your head?
SassiestLemon 2
84- Yes, that's the just of it.
randomguy1millon_fml 0
must have been a shitty conversation
blessthefall313 6
aw that sucks
Xx_Nikky_xX 4
lmao!
SchiTzenGiglez 0
HAHAHA YES!! such a good FML. FYL Indeed. Crap lost the game.
BuhZinga 2
NOOO!! I haven't lost the game in over a year! >_< meanie face
ktdad07 0
That's foul.
charloemm 7
No, that's fowl. haha
intheboot 0
^win, lol
colffenstein 0
rofl... but yeah u spelled fowl wrong so it doesn't quite work
Perksofbeingawal 0
Your picture is beautiful. :) What an adorable child.
ktdad07 0
97- Foul is spelled correctly for the context. (I don't do many written puns, I wasn't sure which version to go with for the sake of the joke) 103- Thank you.
ehhbeek 1
what'd he say?
ktdad07 0
FML comments seem to be on the fritz, again.
YacL 15
Lol, the bird strongly disapproves of your feelings. FYL
January8 5
that made me laugh too many times out loud to myself at work
riley322 0
Dirty mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!
Rawr100 0
dirty face clean it up with ****
MichaelGood 0
Or a facecloth, they work best
MdoAngel 0
way to ruin it goodies
SassiestLemon 2
Way to ruin it, 19.
SilenceIsSilver 0
Lmao maybe the bird thought the guy thought you were ugly and shat on your fayce so he didn't have to look at it xD if so, FYL.