Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML
Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML
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Top comments
nycwrestler 17
Sounds like he might have a "little problem" down there.
inthedopeshow 17
What would Tom Hanks be doing in her undies?
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Comments (142)
BurningGrannies 16
Never heard that one before, maybe you should talk about it with him. He may have had a very strict upbringing that now makes him think sex is bad or whatever.
DREsWay 3
But, if he thought it was bad then pants wouldn't be flying off..
JefftheRipper 9
It makes you wonder if they were ever wearing pants in the first place. I could see if they were parachute pants. Tear-away pants sometimes fly off.
EsOSiQueEs 14
Well OP, that is awkward, but he IS half of the relationship, so you have to consider his feelings too. But now when he's ready, so are you! (:
oh_lordy_me 18
Why is that??
SerpentBoy 8
Get him loaded first.. Good Bye insecurity. Not too loaded though, you want him to go in like Iron Man, not Gumby.
DocBastard 38
Alcohol is a classic cause for impotence. Didn't think that through well enough, eh tiger?
RedPillSucks 31
Nothing like slurred speech, vomit, and fumbling, and a wilted willy, to get the sexy time going.
advent2060 4
Lol that's not completely true, not all of us get whiskey dong when drunk
SerpentBoy 8
If only a couple drinks keeps you from performing then its obviously a bad idea.. However I don't think most of us have that problem. There's a diffrence in being drunk or absolutely shit plowed.
ICastillo 24
I'm just of I pulled pants down and chewbaca was staring back at me I would be a little frightened.
ICastillo 24
Saying* and *of man I failed on that one big time.
BethCarey 11
Well, it's a good thing women aren't allowed to keep their body how they wish these days, huh? :)
ICastillo 24
Well it's to bad now a days some people don't know how to take a joke.
LittleFluffy 1
I feel bad for you OP, but the case might've been that he wasn't ready himself. Although it might've been wrong for him to tell you so late...
SMOKEnTOKE00 3
Or maybe she has a stank ass pussy!
Shrike 23
You mean like... herself and her own hands? Not everyone's a cheating spastic, son.
perdix 29
He has watched too much **** where the ******* look delectable. They're generally not so pretty in the real world.
Silent_Thrill 17
Very true, but you gotta find the right ******. First you gotta check if they are firm, but not too firm! Then you gotta check for bad spots and if it's ripe enough. Hopefully if you do all this and pick out a good one it'll be juicy enough. Why does the word delectable always remind me of fruit!?
RedPillSucks 31
Even worse, I first read it as "detachable" .... o.O
perdix 29
#30, I don't know, but it reminds me of the old "looks terrible, feels great" joke. It's too long to put here, so Google it.
thatgaychick 9
@35 that's great xD
Schizomaniac 24
Kinda funny that you guys went at it immediately after you told him. Of course you were probably in an appropriate setting, but we'll ignore that.