Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 460 You deserved it 127 Share Tweet Share
Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML I agree, your life sucks 44 580 You deserved it 7 318
Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 495 You deserved it 4 372
Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 682 You deserved it 2 723
Today, I rushed to catch my bus and arrived as it pulled up, but one of the tires threw a rock at my head and knocked me out. I missed my bus and the final that I am not allowed to retake. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 186 You deserved it 254
Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML I agree, your life sucks 67 749 You deserved it 13 278
Today, it was our class field trip. I got five dollars from ten different people because they wanted me to sit away from them. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 438 You deserved it 5 014
Today, I found out that my fiancé is going to be deployed on our wedding day. FML I agree, your life sucks 64 491 You deserved it 4 407
Today, my dad's girlfriend threw me a birthday party and all the gifts, decorations, and the cake were according to my age, which they thought was 12. I turned 13 today. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 255 You deserved it 8 067