Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 464 You deserved it 127 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 409 You deserved it 15 248
Today, I noticed my girlfriend wiping her sweaty armpits with the small towel that I always use to wipe my face with after shaving. Now I know why the towel smells so bad. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 114 You deserved it 189
Today, I discovered my parents have spent my college fund because "2012 will happen" before I graduate. FML I agree, your life sucks 48 760 You deserved it 3 328
Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML I agree, your life sucks 41 066 You deserved it 6 144
Today, I was sucking on a candy and I began choking. A coworker rushed over to give me the Heimlich maneuver. That freed the candy from my throat, and also the shit from my bowels. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 507 You deserved it 2 362
Today, I woke up, took a shower, made some pasta, drank 3 glasses of water and brushed my teeth. I then left my apartment to see signs posted all over warning us not to use the water without boiling it because the water company just found E-coli in the water. FML I agree, your life sucks 56 920 You deserved it 4 331