Crystal Ball Cat By FML Approved - 31/10/2017 03:00 Now stop trying to touch my belly and just go away! I agree, your life sucks 461 You deserved it 127 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 664 You deserved it 3 777
Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 668 You deserved it 39 751
Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML I agree, your life sucks 38 497 You deserved it 2 774
Today, I was told by both my parents that I was going to hell and had a “terrorist mentality” because I said our archdiocese deserves to go bankrupt from all their abuse cases. FML I agree, your life sucks 958 You deserved it 120
Today, I was talking with my mother. As we went to say goodbye, she said "I love you". Out of habit of saying I love you to my girlfriend, I said, "Love you too babe". FML I agree, your life sucks 28 476 You deserved it 6 051
Today, I told the girl working the scanner that half the documents I was indexing from her were upside down. Now ALL of them are upside down. FML I agree, your life sucks 12 314 You deserved it 1 307
Today, my manager accused me of stealing $20. I didn't do it, but since she said she was going to call the cops, I gave her some of my own money. She still called the cops. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 643 You deserved it 5 813
Today, what I thought was food poisoning is actually a baby. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 771 You deserved it 706