Intimacy, Sex, Weird and TV shows: No kinkshaming

No kinkshaming

By FutureColombianTourist - 08/11/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow job as we watched a show about Pablo Escobar. This girl wouldn’t put out on my birthday, but Pablo killing a guy in jail gets her going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 184

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Same thing different taste

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 423

You deserved it 9 211

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 609

You deserved it 17 156

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 019

You deserved it 9 490

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 851

You deserved it 18 701

By Anonymous - 30/12/2015 15:21 - Canada - Aurora

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 162

You deserved it 5 569

Hidden

By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 679

You deserved it 7 399

The pleasure, the pain

By BadBribe - 24/06/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to bribe me to be good since we were going out to dinner with her parents by giving me a blowjob. The good news: it was one of the best she had ever given. The bad news: I came on her black dress. She responded by hitting in me in the nuts. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 191

You deserved it 30 213

What about me?

By crushed - 23/05/2020 02:00

Today, my wife told me about an old boyfriend she had. She told me that they used to fool around, and that she’d give him blow jobs all the time. I never get any action like that from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 780

You deserved it 262

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By Erik Monkey - 27/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 259

By turriblebday - 17/12/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend took me out to dinner. While at the restaurant, she went to the bathroom. She was then escorted out of the restaurant for having sex in said bathroom. I was sitting at our booth the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 977

You deserved it 2 598

Thaylok 17

Thursday 9 November 2023 1:08

Well, now you know how to kick start her engine. Remember that when your birthday comes around.

Comments

Thaylok 17

Thursday 9 November 2023 1:08

Well, now you know how to kick start her engine. Remember that when your birthday comes around.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 540

You deserved it 51 165

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 3 777

The Top

Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 492

You deserved it 1 215

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 632

You deserved it 2 912

Today, my boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me, saying things are moving "too fast". All I did was tell my 3 year-old that my boyfriend's parents are his new grandma and grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 3 448

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 833

You deserved it 5 071

Today, after waiting a couple weeks, I finally slept with this guy I really like. It went like this: 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 158

You deserved it 4 804

Today, I found out my mother only uses two settings for volume on her laptop: maximum volume or completely quiet. She'll play it over whatever other people are doing, and then get mad when they tell her to turn it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 127