Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
raysmith121 10
This really is your fault. You should instruct him and guide him.
MDoremis 38
You kind of deserved that. There's no point in lying to save someone's feelings and make yourself miserable.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (136)
vesquivel62 12
guys a re retards. you must lead them to do as you'd like. of course unless, they watch too much ****.
lRain 6
It seems like you're not old enough for sex. Most adults, even if virgins talk about what they like, what can they do to improve and things like that. Faking it is not going to do anything for your sex life.
TeeGee_McGee 4
Faking it is one of the biggest BITCH moves someone can pull on a man. Not. Cool.
KimiE1994 2
Why would you fake it? Why...
Hiphuray4peas 27
Whether or not OP should have instructed him is moot. I think the blame lies on the **** industry. To think that "bitch-slapping" a vulva or ******** feels good is an idea perpetuated by the industry. Even the women IN **** don't like that, but people who watch that see it done over and over and then employ the tactic in their own bed thinking "If it worked in ****..."
cylonN6 3
Never fake an ******; they'll never learn if you fake.
jairolover 25
idiot.
lccc_ 18
why do people fake orgasms? If it doesnt feel good youre going to know.