Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he believes getting kicked in the balls is a scientifically-proven method of birth control. FML
Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mirorbo 27
That's when you whip out a sex toy and tell him "You first"!~
Joeyc524 0
Hahahha that's mad funny
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (343)
TymePickles 0
lol
kimmmi91 9
lmao it's kinda funny I mean even if it not into it it's funny but FYI u can still get prego from anal if his **** leaks out into ur vag haha
kritz0 10
Wow....thanks for pointing out something SEVERAL people have already pointed out ages ago. Read some of the earlier comments. -.-
sobf 2
that's hot
t0m_fml 0
your boyfriend is my hero
nightmear69 0
what a dumbass but that's pretty funny
antiochzone 0
THATS AWESOME
jaybirdrampage 0
winner
Tito147 0
...but poopoo is made from there... WTF U SICK WEIRDOS!!!!
KaitlynJohan 4
AGREED 100 % ! that's nasty #af !
petitsinge_fml 0
LOL did you know there's a small percentage chance to get pregnant by anal sex? Fail.
paprikacha 9
A brief summary of the comments in this section: 1. ::insert SCIENCE! here:: 2. ::insert something that looks like SCIENCE! but is really a jackass with an SAT vocabulary list trying to sound intelligent:: 3. Hurrrr what's the problem?/This guy is a hero (read: I may or may not care about the comfort of my sexual partner) 4. 'If he wants to give he should be required to receive...' 5. Response to the above: 'Eww that's gay, only women should have to have SOMETHING SHOVED UP THEIR ASS' 6. Various forms of light to heavy misogyny 7. Abstinence is the best form of birth control out of them all! ^_^ Personally, I think if the guy is kidding, whatev, his sense of humor is lame. If he's not kidding, and she's up for trying it, more power to her -- some women are okay with it, and actually enjoy it, but it's certainly not a safe and effective form of birth control. If he's not kidding and the OP, like me, has had to explain multiple times to their stupid, flatheaded now-ex that for some people the process is painful, degrading, and can lead to bleeding afterwards, then he's clearly a dumb **** and abstinence probably IS the best way to go to avoid the idiocy gene from SOMEHOW getting spread any further than it already does on an hourly basis. Also, every member of the opposite gender whose comment falls under category #5 deserves to have their dick shrivel up like a withered cucumber, and #6's are gonna die alone. : )
jcole1997 0
No...abstinence is for people who have no idea the freedom and release as well as pleasure and love that can come from sex. If you want to never have sex and just sit at home withering away, no one ever wanting to touch you, your choice.
paprikacha 9
Dawg, I think you completely missed the point of what I was saying.