Injury and Intimacy: Nasty

Nasty

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

agreeclassic 45 552

vote type 1 5 898

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Traumatized knob

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

agreeclassic 41 036

vote type 1 4 623

By southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

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By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

agreeclassic 54 126

vote type 1 6 462

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

agreeclassic 620

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By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

agreeclassic 47 005

vote type 1 18 690

By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

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She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

agreeclassic 28 516

vote type 1 5 326

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I've ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

agreeclassic 2 216

vote type 1 258

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 01:32 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

agreeclassic 36 601

vote type 1 5 554

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

agreeclassic 44 845

vote type 1 8 604

AsainChick 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:56

You shoul probably get that checked out...

saIty 17

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:58

That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.

Comments

nekro_onslaught 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:51

Lol lightweight

monagro 22

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:54

Did she circumcise you?

Danielt104 6

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:55

What?!?

mightyiollan2 3

Tuesday 30 August 2011 23:59

how do you do something like that

lindseyluvszac 4

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:15

wat the **** you nasty ass shit

TheNewGuy03 28

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:21

...or his dick-nity.

Kingbreezy04 10

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:21

Damn was she wearing leather gloves.....

JeffreyLH 5

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:40

Ow wtf. Hurt a bit just from reading this. Lol

Sarojin 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:40

Live and learn. haha

sicnesses 6

Wednesday 31 August 2011 0:40

Must have been pretty good!

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Today, I told my mom that I struggle with depression. She then told me that she thinks that I always seem to suck the life out of a room. FML

agreeclassic 1 216

vote type 1 246

Today, I had to help pick a jury for trial. I had to do a roll call to make sure that everyone was present. I stood up in front of a packed courtroom and said, “Okay, I’m going to do a roll call to make sure that everyone is here and pregnant.” FML

agreeclassic 1 597

vote type 1 682

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

agreeclassic 21 990

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Today, while shopping, a few giggling girls came up to me and asked why I was wearing a dress in public. Highly confused, I didn't answer. When they walked away laughing, I realized they thought I was a man. I'm a woman. FML

agreeclassic 37 493

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Today, I was diagnosed with pneumonia. My breathing is short and heavy, and I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me. Instead, he called me Darth Vader, patted me on the head, and said, "Don't worry, the Force will be with you." FML

agreeclassic 26 726

vote type 1 4 349

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

agreeclassic 21 795

vote type 1 46 562

Nasty

Similar FMLs

Traumatized knob

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She's electric

Nosebleed

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