Injury and Intimacy: Nasty

Nasty

By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 513

You deserved it 5 890

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Same thing different taste

Traumatized knob

By Anonymous - 10/03/2015 19:11

Today, I got my first handjob. I also found out today that a girl can pull your skin hard enough to cause it to bleed profusely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 991

You deserved it 4 602

By southernluxe - 04/09/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 935

You deserved it 10 641

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 074

You deserved it 6 437

Frustrated wank

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 283

By Rumpkis - 05/12/2011 01:30 - United States

Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 940

You deserved it 18 658

By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 295

You deserved it 7 515

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 475

You deserved it 5 309

Nosebleed

By bloody good time - 23/11/2019 05:00

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and he slid his hand up near my face too fast and ended up clocking me in the nose. It is the first time that I have ever had nosebleed while orgasming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 188

You deserved it 251

By Anonymous - 25/10/2014 01:32 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 582

You deserved it 5 545

Congrats

By Anonymous - 27/01/2013 22:44 - Canada - Rosetown

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 809

You deserved it 8 559

AsainChick 0

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:56

You shoul probably get that checked out...

saIty 17

Tuesday 30 August 2011 15:58

That's when you know your pleaser is giving 120%.

Comments

KushTaeKush 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 2:49

Don't let her do something you can do yo yourself! That's pointless!!

brandonggarcia1 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:13

Are you sure you arent a woman?

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:13

Did you get a hand job from Chuck Norris' sister, or Loraina Bobbit? Better count your digit.

Gil2112 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:18

Circumcised...?

ColorguardChik 1

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:30

Did you have Catwoman giving it to you?

iMagzzzy 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:33

I think your doing it wrong.

krakadilian 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:36

Like coach always use to say... I youre not bleeding youre not doon it right

BL4CKST4R 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 3:47

Looks like you got a sandjoblol

ItsThisGirl 17

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:13

OMG! :O go to the doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fume_la_lapin 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:15

That happened to my boyfriend the first time too. You still have a foreskin, because that was part of our problem.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 49 835

You deserved it 6 534

Today, I confessed my feelings to my best friend, how I'm deeply in love with him. The consequence wasn't good, as he told me we should never talk to each other again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 676

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I agree, your life sucks 33 585

You deserved it 4 348

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I agree, your life sucks 54 271

You deserved it 3 375

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I agree, your life sucks 10 916

You deserved it 777

Today, while at a family reunion, my parents kept bringing up horrible things I did when I was about 4-6 years-old that I've been trying to forget for decades. After a while, I just stormed out. When I came back in the room, my dad had the nerve to ask me why I left and why I wasn't talking to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 842

You deserved it 150