Today, marks the third day I've spent with a cute guy who has a crush on me. Before going to a public pool, we had a nice breakfast together. However, the food did not agree with me, so I loudly emptied my guts in the poolside restroom. He sent me home after, and will no longer answer my texts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML
Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
Today, after having an amazing first date with my long time crush, we ended up going out to dinner. We shared a meal, and it was delicious! This would have been the ultimate dream come true... Except for the part about me throwing up in his car on the way back home. FML
Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML
Today, I hung out with my crush for only the second time at his apartment. He was having a party. After a few sips of my green apple Smirnoff, I puked up the chinese food I had eaten earlier all over his new couch in front of him and a bunch of people I didn't know. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I finally kissed the guy I really love at a party. He took me outside and immediately vomited. FML
Today, I went out to eat with friends. My crush was also at the restaurant with his friends. He smiled at me as I took a mouthful of food, and I choked. The waitress had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on me, while he and his friends fell off their chairs laughing. FML
Today, I got a text from a girl that I've had a crush on for a long time, asking me out to dinner. I agreed and went to the restaurant. Not long afterwards, I got text from her saying something had come up, so she couldn't make it. As I was walking back to my car, I saw her walk into the same restaurant with another guy. FML
Today. I went on a date with a really great guy. After the date we went to his place and had drinks in the hottub. I ended up shitting myself. FML
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Top comments
idragosani 17
I guess he never read that book "Everyone Poops"?
Sasor123 6
Looks like he doesn't like people who become sick
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Comments (5)
Sasor123 6
Looks like he doesn't like people who become sick
idragosani 17
I guess he never read that book "Everyone Poops"?
RichardPencil 32
If he's listening to you poop, why are you texting him anyway? Ted Bundy was a cute weirdo, too. You don't want to end up like the women he knew, do you?
Chazzster 32
Awkward… Many public pools have a notice posted that no one with active or prior diarrhea is allowed in the pool for public health and safety reasons. While OP’s date seems to have over reacted, there was some reason behind getting OP out of there ASAP - Especially if he was well known at the pool… OP - I understand that illness or diarrhea can suddenly come on, but most of the time there are warning signs before hand. In the future, if you feel sick it’s a good idea to cancel the date and explain why. We are just coming out of a long and dreadful pandemic and people are somewhat sensitized.