Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duck tape on ducks." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML
Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML
Today, my daughter asked me if we could make sticker art. Of course I said it was OK so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML
Today, while I finished my business with my girlfriend, she asked if I used Viagra. I replied, "No I never use Viagra." She responded with, "You should." FML
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Top comments
alexhaz64 4
Wait, you're NOT supposed to use duct tape on ducks???
vansandtans 3
QUACK
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Comments (188)
alexhaz64 4
Wait, you're NOT supposed to use duct tape on ducks???
jesscarrr 10
9- I don't quite know what to make of your comment. You seem to have some experience with duct taping ducks..
jesscarrr 10
I think op needs to wake up at the quack of dawn and take his girlfriend to the Ducktor. The bill may be high but he really needs to quack open this case. But make sure you check the feather forecast before you leave home!
patrickalamo 48
Only use Duck Brand, Duct tape on ducks.
itsharkley 8
45- what is that kinda sentence called?
Knightchaser27 25
75-Puny
harp 9
75 punny
FYLminesGREAT 5
I guess thay means both of us use it wrong...
ShannyAK 16
Oh man! I thought duck tape were for ducks
greenie213 23
It's not FOR ducks. It's MADE of ducks.
KrazieKleo 13
87- you fail at life. Go duct tape your brain in hopes of fixing it.
toughchick14 15
Lol no way!!!
free2speak 14
106, that makes no sense. If you're going to bash somebody, at least be witty about it. -1 for you.
bigdonnie624 15
Damn I've been using it wrong
chippa 24
118, it made perfect sense. Duct tape fixes everything, don'cha know?
BrimfullOfAsher 20
You're supposed to wrap hamsters in electric tape.
chell1894 13
When I was little I thought it was called duck tape. But this is when I was 6..
decidedlyvague 11
Duck tape is specifically for ducks. Duct tape is specifically for shutting people up. Duh.
Kain713 14
Maybe it's made BY ducks O_o
vansandtans 3
QUACK
shayshayshazam 14
Moo?
annerz374 6
Ribbit
shayshayshazam 14
Arf! Arf! (Now a question... Am I a dog? Or a seal?)
Kallian_fml 21
Cockle doodle doo!
Inheritance 10
*Bang*
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Hee-haw hee-haw. I'm such an ass.
Officiency 4
Shut up guys.
Myo_fml 20
Oh, stop PMSing and have some fun. Neeeeeeigh. :3
greenie213 23
It's just a space duck. What a majestic creature. If you don't get this reference, just move on.
DespairFaction 11
Gobble gobble. Glad I had one if those spinning toys as a kid that made farm animal sounds.
IAmJad 18
Sssssss
Holyshihtzus 7
Baaaaaaaa
funnynesh 10
This isn't really an FML...
BlowinChronic 18
Wait... What sound does a honey badger make? Ahh who gives a shit.. Honey badger doesn't give a shit...
SonOfAMitch 14
Oink
you_failed 15
Rawr!
PinkieKeen 20
Hissssssss
happyevil 10
WHAT DOES A FOX SAY?!
xblair 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The woman has a point
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Ok, it's duct tape not "duck" tape so no, she doesn't.
FYLDeep 26
Duck tape is the brand name duct tape. It has pictures of ducks on the inside cardboard... It what upper class people use for jury rigging things.
LordoftheOcelots 10
She's right, you're supposed to use duct tape on air ducts.
FYLDeep 26
#22 Haha, no.
Neonemerld 21
Actually, 22, duct tape is and always has been multipurpose. There is no 'one' use for it. It has been used to make clothes and shoes, seal cords and wires to protect from corrosion, and was actually used in the construction of the Brooklyn Bridge. If you don't believe me, feel free to look it up.
obnum 19
Woah, on the bridge? Damn I didn't know that. Learn something new everyday I guess. Although I'm going to feel unsafe when I cross that bridge now...
toenibbler 14
The woman went full idiot.
Nekogami 14
It's full retard, not idiot, idiot. ;)
RevenVx 16
Don't forget it is also used on planes, commercial jets and military jets for temporary fixes.
fridatuva 2
Well I use duck tape on ducts
xblair 11
17- But I was being sarcastic. :(
evilplatypus 39
17 - The name "duck" tape actually predates "duct" tape. Look it up.
ColdplaySucks 18
I read somewhere that a girl made a duct tape prom dress. Duct tape has infinitely many uses...
lilhellian 27
115 Mythbusters made a boat entirely out of duck tape. (Sorry but I will only use the original name.)
deloria_fml 22
Actually, no, not just. The original use was indeed "Duck tape". Etymologically "duck" here is a Dutch word meaning "canvas". The reason for this being that a canvas-like substance was used to wrap cables and wires to protect them from weathering and corrosion. Modern duct tape more or less evolved from that.
clumsydude 10
they also made a duct tape bridge on mythbusters and they were able to walk across it.
vocaloidtiger 12
#21 & #25 - Duck tape was, indeed, originally called just that, but it took up the name of 'Duct tape' early on because of its use on air ducts (quite plainly). However, despite this fact, it was always intended to be a multi-purpose material, and still is used for just that. Most brands took to calling it duct tape still, although there are a few brands who call it duck tape, with, as you mentioned, sucks on the cover. Your other statement about jury rigging (whatever that is), however, was incorrect. As I mentioned earlier, duck tape is multi-purposeful. I don't even know what 'jury rigging' is, but hey, maybe that is ONE of duck tape's many purposes. My best friend an many of my other friends made duck tape wallets. My other friend made (perfectly fitting, perfectly shaped) duck tape flip-flops. Yet another friend still made a duck tape trench coat (which is, amazingly, so perfectly tailored that, despite its building material, looks just like an actual trench coat, down to the pockets and the collar) with a matching top hat (again, perfectly tailored). The sky is the limit with this stuff, believe me.
vocaloidtiger 12
#83 - I'm sorry, but that was a failed attemp at sarcasm if I've ever seen one.$9
tommygunkid 4
#172 he meant Jerry rigging, which is essentially a temporary fix. i.e. patching a hole in a plane so you can make it back to make actual repairs.
tommygunkid 4
Actually it is Jury rig
PinkieKeen 20
Just call it zebra tape from now on
nesscafe_fml 17
She is not the brightest spark, is she?
shayshayshazam 14
She's a girl not a spark you anti-feminist jerk!
jacob128 4
Ok 37 let's calm down it was just an expression do you want some midol and chocolate?
nesscafe_fml 17
I dont know how that comment was anti-feminist!? I am a girl for your information so why would I want to say something sexist or 'anti-feminist'?
lilhellian 27
50, 37 is probably getting high waiting for pizza. So don't mind the random wierd comments just laugh. :D
meihua 19
I feel as if 37 was joking
gc327072 31
37- your troll is bad and you should feel bad.
lilhellian 27
Aww 90 did your mom do that to you as a baby?
lilhellian 27
Not in russia. In Soviet Russia baby throws you.
LoveGuru69 0
this is an awful thread
shayshayshazam 14
A troll that gets thumbsed down 50 times is not a bad troll! :) I take pride in 50 ppl going "what an f&$& retard!"
lilhellian 27
That wasn't even worthy of being labled a troll. That was just being a dumbass. Do learn the difference.
fuzz97 23
So, 126, if 50 people thumb you down, you'll be proud of the fact that they think you're a retard?
Bliss391 7
Well it DUCT tape, not DUCK tape....
superminty 18
The original name was actually duck tape. It was created for military use and called so because it was waterproof, similar to ducks.
Mirorbo 27
I did not know this! I have learned something new today! On FML of all places!~
FYLDeep 26
I think it's also illegal to use duct tape on ducts in most cases. You're supposed to use that really expensive aluminum tape. (It's smooth and has a bright sliver color.)
Bliss391 7
Hmmm, well thanks for the lesson! Learn something new every day !
TheMathMajor 26
So why did they change the name to duct tape, then?
beastiness 14
There are several names for it duct tape, duck tape, 100mph tape ( idk where the last one came from ) but I believe duck tape is just a brand of duct tape
Cavebone 5
Do you only use making tape in your masks? Our scotch tape on Scottish people? Electrical tape seems to be the only appropriately named tape.
elevyn 16
Discounting duct tape which is actually used on *gasp* ducts.
Cavebone 5
AACCCCCCCtually, Duct tape doesn't work on air ducts. The heat breaks it down and it disintegrates. The more you know.
FYLDeep 26
#8 Nope, not really. Duct tape is actually pretty shitty for ductwork. It's simply not made for the heat.
ohSNAPyall 27
What about painters' tape?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
70 - What about it? Obviously you use painters' tape on painters.
ohSNAPyall 27
You use electrical tape on electrical stuff; you use painters' tape on painters' stuff.
ishmail2000 4
And THIS is the reason why I don't see this as much of an FML. Yes it's "duct" not "duck," but her point is still made: 'Other tapes have names that don't denote their use; is "electrical tape" one of them?' That's all she was asking.
hatingyourlife 1
70- Painter's Tape* not Painters' Tape. It's tape a painter uses, not tape to use on several painters.
twinkiefeets 17
I hope she's really really pretty.
corylock 7
And great in bed!
Jennababy2792 20
it SOUNDS like she is pretty.
BadAsCactus 7
*faceplam
SonOfAMitch 14
Oh, the irony.
wannabemom 5
Well she's not the sharpest crayon in the box... Maybe her looks make up for it?
NagainaFier 16
Because looks are the only important part, even if your 'partner' has a lower IQ than that of a squirrel.
lilhellian 27
36 I wasn't aware crayons lit up! :O
SenselessPattern 12
Since crayons aren't sharp, she must be fine then.
simplylost643 0
#26- They're not saying it's the only important part, but to quote Mary Poppins, "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down."
SlenderMann 10
Unless she's diabetic.
cicpjaky 6
Why was she even able to ask you this question, if she's in the kitchen? (presuming you're not renovating the kitchen)
emilyjgraham 34
I haven't seen a kitchen joke for a while. They've never been funny! What a douchebag!
ohSNAPyall 27
Weak. (no exceptions here; your comment was weak all around)
evilplatypus 39
Not only is the joke tired and stupid to begin with, you ruined it further with your last sentence.