Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duck tape on ducks." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while shopping with my 6-year-old daughter, she said, "Mommy, remember you wanna get duck tape!" A middle-aged guy nearby scoffed and told her, "DUCT, not DUCK. Dumb cunt." I ended up having to drive my bawling daughter home, with no shopping. FML
Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML
Today, my daughter couldn't find a hair tie and thought a piece of duct tape would be a perfectly fine substitute. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house for the first time. I had to use the restroom, and when I came back, I mocked her brothers' lame Pokémon shower curtain and Ninja Turtle towels. Turns out they were hers. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, after taking a shower, I noticed a weird noise and asked my husband about it. "I think it's in the walls," I told him. After careful inspection, he simply turned off the electric razor I had just used to shave my legs and gave me 'that' look. I had beaten him in an IQ test not 24 hours prior. FML
Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML
Today, my daughter asked me if we could make sticker art. Of course I said it was OK so she went to get some stickers. I wondered where she was going when she walked into the bathroom, but I didn't ask. I left the room and when I came back, her paper was blank and my pads were stuck to the wall. FML
Today, while I finished my business with my girlfriend, she asked if I used Viagra. I replied, "No I never use Viagra." She responded with, "You should." FML
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Top comments
alexhaz64 4
Wait, you're NOT supposed to use duct tape on ducks???
vansandtans 3
QUACK
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Comments (188)
Sai_Run614 7
Afflack
Warmonger_Smurf 29
I'm going to guess she's a blond.
maddygirl820 10
Oh goodness
ChakatBlackstar 29
She's actually right. What people commonly call duct tape/duck tape should never be used on ducks or ducts. The latter case is because the fabric part of the tape is actually flammable, and even if it does not catch fire it will still become brittle and potentially fail. There is a separate type of real duct tape that's used for duct work. And the more common duct/duck tape was originally invented in World War 2 to create water tight seals on ammo cases and made out of duck cloth, hence the name duck tape. Naturally the army began using it for improvised repairs, and after the war someone realized duck tape's potential on the civilian market and changed it's color from military green to shiny silver.
SenselessPattern 12
Thanks for the lesson, teacher. Pretty interesting, honestly.
evilplatypus 39
First written use of "duck tape" was 1903/1904, referring to tape used on bridge work. Not WWII.
notepie 6
Wow she is a real winner
darkmis1 18
Duct tape DID get it's name from ducks. People noticed how water would just slide off ducks and wanted a strong tape able to resist water. Thus duct tape was born.
dudeuranass 4
But you do use it on Ducts!!! Come on now...
BlowinChronic 18
No, you don't. Come on now!
SenselessPattern 12
And use caps, it appears...
isaiahyoung99 2
Blondes
perdix 31
Are you sure she's not working on her stand-up comedy act? Did she start with, "Hey, what's the deal with duct tape? I wanna know!" The original product was called "duck tape" because it was made from duck cloth (canvas) fabric.
FYLDeep 26
Pretty sure it's called "Duck" tape because if you over-rely on it for securing things overhead, you should always be ready to duck. P.S. It does sound like a bad Leno bit though...