Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML
Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
Tessa39 0
sounds like he is a genius
EvilDoll 7
Well, his education and your money are both going down the drain. Among other things...
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Comments (261)
BennyBear 0
well if estheticians have to update policies for anal bleaching, who's to say med students don't need to learn about taking a dump?
dbt88 15
I hope he's going to be a proctologist and just wanted to see how everything works...
blacksswan 10
I am surprised nobody made a comment on 80,000 per year for college. Average cost to go to college a year is 30,000-45,000. His college is ripping you off.
blacksswan 10
I am in the pharmacy program and all my college asked me is to pay 45,000 for the whole time I go. luckily I got college grants so I am going on free full ride. I don't know why OP didn't look into ways to pay for college without paying out of pocket. so quit complaining.
madkatter117 0
medical school costs a ton more than normal college.
blacksswan 10
nope I have did my research on all sorts of colleges before choosing my college. They are anywhere from 35k to 45-50k a year. No college tuition goes anywhere near 80k for 365 days. OPs son seems overly spoiled. He will forever depend on the parents. Don't see what's the point in going to college if you can't even buy a new phone out of your pocket and expect your parents to pay for every little thing.
Reasonable 4
You're probably referring to an undergraduate degree, which rarely does exceed 50k. But medical school is post undergrad, and usually at least four more years. And some private medical schools estimate a year's expenses at upwards of 70k.
clarkie007 0
actually no the average cost of med school at any public or private university does not exceed 67,000, And it's "post-grad" not post undergrad. meaning you have already received a 4-year degree.
clarkie007 0
And that with all expenses, if you are talking just tuition it's around 50,000, which is the same as any program at a prestigious school
glitw123 0
He's starting his internship which adds on another $15,000, in biomedical engineering. Johns Hopkins does not "rip people off". So get off my brothers back.
glitw123 0
And you can take your rude comments about MY brother and shove them up your ass along with an enema that is so conveniently located at ANY pharmacy.
Flutist 3
Lets say he pays 65,000$ for school, since he is not living at home he would have food expenses, perhaps dorm/apartment expenses, maybe a car and insurance, then there is the cost of books and medical school supplies which do not count in the original cost of the college tuition. There is also the chance that he is partying and gets spending money. So the cost of everything for someone to go to medical school and be able to live, eat, and have a place to stay, books and all that would make it close to $80,000.
lies_ah 3
I did.....
blacksswan 10
169. He can at least get a job and pay for other things himself.
Flutist 3
^ I was just saying if everything is paid for by his parents thisn 80,000$ is not that hard to imagine. My dad's a doctor, he worked and did 22 credits so it is possible. But when he got into residency then he had no time to do anything. You live on campus and are at the mercy of others.
deedel09 3
well can I be your kid? I won't do that.
bloopster 2
Maybe it's time to re-evaluate your child raising methods, OP
Briiiiitt4lifee 0
wtff ?
YoungSwagKid 0
medical school genius!!
LizzJizz 16
Lol fckn raunchy.
trellz17 19
you're a good parent paying for his med school
izzaahti 0
aww thats so sad?