Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML
Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
Tessa39 0
sounds like he is a genius
EvilDoll 7
Well, his education and your money are both going down the drain. Among other things...
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Comments (261)
momo1972 3
the education system at it's finest
sydmior 10
"the education system at IT'S finest" ? Yes, unfortunately.
jamesmcB 3
how did you get it out of him?
mollylovesmac 0
Buy him the new phone. Just don't make the mistake of buying him one with a camera...
DestinyKay_fml 0
That must be a damn good college
iluvcandy 7
by him a razor
mike393 0
the kid is an idiot. you'd think a future doctor could come up with a better story. you don't tell your dad that! say it fell off my belt holder into the toilet if you must account for the dump part.
xfyre 11
WasteOMoney, your name is exactly why i'm not going to college. ;)
zhightower 3
So the guys kid was film his shit coming out of his anus and all you guys could argue about is the tuition!!! So he has enough money to buy his kid a fancy life in college so what? We would all do it if we had the money.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
I don't think he is smart enough for med school you're just wasting money on stupid shit
MMachina1 0
I'd say he was doing some anatomical research...