Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML
Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet. Now I know why they call it 'smart' phone; it's smarter than me. FML
Today, while pooping at work, I was scrolling through social media. I dropped my phone in the toilet and the automatic flusher engaged, flushing my phone halfway into the pipes, which then flooded the toilet. I had to call maintenance and explain what happened to retrieve phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML
Today, my dad got a new phone and put me on speed dial. I have received several voice mails from him accidentally dialed. They are from him riding the train, in a meeting, having lunch, and, most recently, him taking a monstrous dump. FML
Today, I dropped my phone in the toilet in a public restroom. That would have been bad enough, without the guy in the next stall saying, "Jesus! What the hell did you eat?!" FML
Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML
Today, I was having really bad diarrhea. I sat down on the toilet and heard a plop, thinking it was just me going to the bathroom. After I was finished, I look in the toilet to see my iPhone sitting in a pool of diarrhea. FML
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Top comments
Tessa39 0
sounds like he is a genius
EvilDoll 7
Well, his education and your money are both going down the drain. Among other things...
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Comments (261)
GuidoCheese 0
This would be a good story to tell one day. Embarrass him and exaggerate.
Saltime 0
"My son here? Oh, he's a doctor. One day while he was in school, he was videotaping himself taking a dump. He accidentally called me while doing it, and I heard the whole thing! Hardy har har." Not awkward at all...
planetsmurf 6
why would he be so honest? if I was dumb enough to do that( thankfully I am not) I would just say I dropped it in a puddle or something. remind me never to see him as a doctor as I will probably end up regretting it
MrSexyPants 14
I guess that won't be uploaded to YouTube soon then. :(
raymel 5
erm...I blame the parents? ?
dreamering 16
Don't worry that much. He was doing reserach about buttplugs
Lemycakes 4
that actually made me laugh
GuidoCheese 0
Before any of you try, I'm going to do it first. "SOUNDS LIKE A SHITTY SITUATION. NYAHAHAHAHA!"
mahomie97 7
hahahahahaha goood one
Cmliedtke 0
its not really a good one.. Any FML involving shit in any possible way has that posted 5-10 times in thr comments.
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
Damn, beat me to it.
XxEmoSnowboarder 8
before anyone says this... haha i see what you did there
Darcon 8
LOL u beat me to it! i ******* hate you!LOL u beat me to it! i ******* hate you!
iAmScrubs 19
I have heard that the movement's of one's anus can actually predict the future. I've been doing the same thing as the OP for as long as I can remember.
larry12693 1
so have u perfected the art of anus taping??
TheBitchOfChuckN 7
By studying the movements of my anus At Action, I once learned I was taking a shit. Jealous?
alex6946 10
eww! D:
birdfreak 24
very curious to see what school he's in. : ) NOT so I can stalk him.
BennyBear 0
I love how you had to emphasize "not" hahaha
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I'd like to see this footage.
senseisuncommon 7
What's wrong with you?
Cmliedtke 0
he understands humor and sarcasm. I wasn't aware that thats considered a problem...
nleighane 0
two girls 1 cup much? did you get off to that?
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Didn't everyone?