Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
it could be a number of things. my right one produces lotion the left one sour cream.
FmyLinNY 0
Well what did you assume the white liquid coming from your breasts was??
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Comments (214)
desser627 0
aw, I'm sorry, that's if you were wanting to be a mommy :(
worldclass 0
I'm curious why a doctor had to tell you that? Assumably the only other thing to confuse it with is "discharge" doesn't that look way different? You might want to double check your uterus, unless it's just confused! :(
DocBastard 40
I was going to give you shit for "assumably," but I actually like it. It's sort of the illegitimate love-child of "assuming" and "presumably." I shall start using it anon.
Zebidee 9
A doctor had to tell her that because a non-pregnant woman not going to see a doctor about discharge coming from her breast is about as smart as ignoring rectal bleeding.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
#37 so it's a bastard...
DocBastard 40
FamilyGuy - I find the term "bastard" offensive.
Talia_91 13
reason is because woman can have a liquid come out and it's not milk, could be hormone imbalance or a sign of breast cancer
worldclass 0
I'm an idiot. I didn't even realize that, Doc. and yeah.. if white liquid was dripping out of my boobs? I'd assume I was pregnant.. unless I was dumb enough to think my partner forgot to clean up after himself..
EmoOrange 0
What exactly did you think it was?
fightingkittens 39
If I wasn't pregnant, I certainly wouldn't think it was milk!
dragonstrike94 8
Semen
MagicMushrooms 0
You " got milk!"
rockyraccoon28 8
GOOD ONE.
smokeymcpottt 3
Did anyone else remember Steve Stifler after reading this?
turtle4938 0
hehe, yes!
Sparx1_1 16
It's not that big a deal. Just read any good womens health book and you'll find out that it's far more normal and common than most people think. Sucks though that your doctor didn't do anything to let you know that.
_HeadShot_ 0
lol
Judus_beej 0
op can you top off my tea please?
Xavi89 0
hahahaha!
imsogangster13 0
atleasttt you're nott a man (: