Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
it could be a number of things. my right one produces lotion the left one sour cream.
FmyLinNY 0
Well what did you assume the white liquid coming from your breasts was??
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Comments (214)
ujonesy 0
whaaaaaat?
GiddyXD 0
^ this.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
got milk? yes you do. yes indeed. now drink it and you shall have completed the great circle of life.
7mood75 7
happy birthday :)
6969awesome 0
turns out it's milk. I'm a man :|
mamamiaaa_fml 12
omgoshhh thanks!! does this mean you're getting me something?
7mood75 7
ummm.....bye!
mamamiaaa_fml 12
no. I shall be stalking you until I get one.
bennyboy111 7
6=win
japoop 0
what if your mum rang, "Yes honey, get here I'm outta milk, I need yo *******!" hah
quiter 0
pics or it didn't happen
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
tittie milk is extremely powerful milk drink it all, now that you dont have to share with a pushy baby
mintcar 10
Have you ever breast fed before? Could be relactation?
IVANTTOCOME 0
You should look into becoming a stripper, they make a lot of dough for the lactation shows.
fakeaccountX 6
Visual proof required.
katie_656 0
Hahahah #23 you're funny!
mamamiaaa_fml 12
143- Thanks. I try. Very hard. =]
dwdrummerpro 0
I see your producing 1% is it cause you think your fat? cause your not, you could be producing whole if you wanted to.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
Win reference.
JodeMiVida 13
WIN
aFatFuck 0
.....and I'm a man
xoxolinxox 2
Well then... :/
hobojo11 0
YEEEEETTTTTT!!!!!!!!! if ya know what im sayin mhm
memo619 0
how does it taste?
iliketurdles 7
Like success..
WhatTheFuq 0
What's up turdles (;
iliketurdles 7
Hey Fuq, hows it hanging? *wink wink* :)..
Nadinek98 0
haha I wonder if she is having dun with the milk o__o
KSGmama08 0
breastmilk is very very sweet. it's much better than cows milk and some moms actually cook their families food with it. I personally would never do it but some do. ;)
IVANTTOCOME 0
that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of WTF?
jakegryan 0
oh...my...god... in Afghanistan we went through a small village on a standard patrol and a family invited us in and served us coagulated goat blood and raw goat milk, being a diplomat I decided to "eat it" and the blood exploded in my mouth and the milk was extremely sour
abc1231 2
yum.. very appetizing...
Peacewind 0
I'd you donate it to Baskin Robbins for their new breast milk flavor?
dragonstrike94 8
That's been made unlawful for safety issues
sports_chic 6
hahaha. sorry don't mean to be rude
FmyLinNY 0
Well what did you assume the white liquid coming from your breasts was??
mamamiaaa_fml 12
it could be a number of things. my right one produces lotion the left one sour cream.
taycandy96 2
I wish I had your breast :/
mamamiaaa_fml 12
yes it's great. except when I get them mixed up.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
funny shit mamamiaaa
piepieburger 0
KUDOS TO YOU, MAMAMIAAA. KUDOS TO YOU FOR MAKING MY DAY WITH THAT COMMENT.
jakegryan 0
coulda been like a white Russian?
raw_tigahh 2
no impossible.....
sexyscooter 0
yes possible. u dont havto be prego to lactate. alot more women lactate with out being prego then u could imagine
evilhobbitofdoom 4
Usually brought on by breast cancers, unfortunately.
fightingkittens 39
Actually, it's entirely possible. If you're hormonally imbalanced when you go on the Pill, you could start spontaneously lactating. I found this out from a conversation with one of my dance teachers, but we digress.
GingerLaxBro 3
Who says prego ... Loser
dragonstrike94 8
You just did
SquirrellyGirl 20
Yes it is. It can be due to many things like a hormonal imbalance. I when I was thirteen I started lactating because my swimsuit top rubbed against my breast which stimulated it to make milk. Totally freaked me out
AlexWolfx 0
Free milk.
Britney_0 0
lol
Jimboom 12
Lol. Excellent. You not only don't have to worry about buying milk in for a while for your breakfast/tea/coffee but it is also good for loosing weight.. Just ask any breastfeeding mother. ;-)
teh_uber_muffin 3
actually breast milk is very fattening
marmlr339 14
she meant producing milk, not drinking it...
MonkeyMan03 0
Jimboom is a he
Soteria 0
not true!
Jimboom 12
It is in fact true. I am a guy.
CaptSkippy 9
FMA ;) the show changed my outlook on life
swimmer1195 3
Wow.
luvyah 0
u guys r useless. X-x
jrtepechis 6
that's why everyone (doctors , hospitals , lactation nurses , etc) encourage women to breastfeed because not only is it nutritious and extremely healthy for the newborn child but it helps to shrink the uterus after the childbirth process and as it shrinks so does your belly , sadly I was only able to feed my son for a month before I stopped lactating
diversgal 9
You need to express the milk if you want to lose weight.... It doesn't help if you do nothing about it.
looloothing 9
#119 Thank you! That is exactly what I was thinking.
Niki27x 2
tehehehehehhehehehe, at least you can do baby sitting!
robc32ca 4
this should only be an FML if you're male. and even then it does happen!
shortystar_fml 0
yea and in rare occastions even a man can have milk
miraggg 1
thats messed up
ScuseMePrincess 2
lol That reminds me of Good Hank from King of the Hill.