Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML
Today, I went to my gyn to see what a painful lump is under my armpit. Turns out it's breast tissue, and yes, it will fill up with milk when I'm pregnant. I essentially have three boobs. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's office for a minor cold, and left with a diagnosis of pregnancy. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
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Top comments
mamamiaaa_fml 12
it could be a number of things. my right one produces lotion the left one sour cream.
FmyLinNY 0
Well what did you assume the white liquid coming from your breasts was??
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Comments (214)
W4X 0
The Human Cow! Now at a cheap price of $9.99!
oxshortieexo 0
like !
CaptSkippy 9
on sale now only 3 easy payments of $3.33 plus a shipping rate of a mere 12 grand
underpaid011 0
unless you are a dude this is the lamest FML ever.
sexyscooter 0
so?? its just lactation... means u have enuff hormones to produce it...
sexovic 0
it will be worst if u were a male...
novaryan 0
that's normal lol it happens
JpasDa1 2
if your producing Cambodian breast milk then your in business.
califbob 3
This would be a real FML if you were a guy, but since you're not, let me pick up a box of Trix and you can make breakfast for me.
ace83_fml 0
you have a tumor on your pituitary gland and need an MRI soon to make sure it's not near your optic nerve
DocBastard 40
Way to be an alarmist, Ace. Ace is referring to galactorrhea, which is what OP has. It's the production of milk in the absence of post-partum nursing. It is most likely due to excessive nipple stimulation, but it can be due a lot of other things ranging from elevated thyroid hormone and certain drugs (like Tagamet and PPIs such as Prilosec and Nexium) to stress and opiates. A prolactin-producing pituitary adenoma is a rather uncommon cause of galactorrhea. Any doctor in his right mind wouldn't jump from "galactorrhea" to "ZOMG PITUITARY ADENOMA! TO THE OPERATING ROOM, STAT!!!11!"
Zebidee 9
Galactorrhea sounds like the worst of the Battlestars to get assigned to.
MarryMeFry 10
Ace apparently watched that episode of "House"
ThatLooksSticky 16
it could also be a tumor in a milk duct, although those types of tumors usually cause a different color of discharge. a wise doctor would send the patient for a mammogram, a retroareolar breast ultrasound, and possibly a breast MRI or glacatogram/ductogram.
DocBastard 40
No, you're thinking of an intraductal papilloma which usually causes a bloody discharge from one duct, as opposed to galactorrhea which causes milky discharge from all the ducts. Intraductal papillomas are usually benign, but the workup includes all the things you mentioned.
marcranger 29
so many fmls of late have ended with the unwelcome surprise of pregnancy. at least you don't face a difficult decision.
astm 0
milk without being pregnat might be a sing of a tumor (not necessarily cancer) in the hypophysis. Did the doctor said something about that?