Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take...

By shibs - 19/12/2015 14:30 - Australia - Hurstville

Today, I spent the only money I had left for lunch only to take two bites before a seagull snatched my burger from my hands. I had to shamefully start walking back to work with a pair of girls laughing at me and an empty stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23158

You deserved it

1821

Favorite

Animals

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Yappy neighborhood

Trust

By burn - 1/8/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, my kids decided putting laxatives in my coffee would loosen me up and calm my nerves. I have a 3 hour long meeting soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34843

You deserved it

3467

Favorite

By whymomwhy - 11/7/2015 17:20 - United States - Salem

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27223

You deserved it

2858

Favorite

By happyshit - 13/10/2011 07:27 - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over a nail, which popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28980

You deserved it

6359

Favorite

By stuckonrepeat - 8/3/2012 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I received the results of the exams that I re-took in order to improve my grades. I got exactly the same grades as before in all four exams. Point for point identical. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17320

You deserved it

19464

Favorite

By Nancy - 10/3/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, I came home and noticed that sometime while I was at school, someone cut off half of my ponytail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44758

You deserved it

4471

Favorite

By Anonymous - 12/10/2015 02:02 - United States

Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29859

You deserved it

1642

Favorite

By Anonymous - 14/1/2014 20:09 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my dad and I got royally bitched out by my mother, because she found a bill for a porn site subscription, which was paid by my dad, but made out to my name. I had no idea about any of this, but she now thinks I'm a filthy porn addict and that my dad is an enabler. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59581

You deserved it

5809

Favorite

By - 13/11/2008 02:46 - France

Today, I'm still in love with my ex boyfriend who is going out with someone else. But at least I now know that he's gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38518

You deserved it

4281

Favorite

By KillMeNow - 9/6/2017 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, my visiting mother-in-law announced she plans on moving to our state and living next door. When I said that's not going to happen, she chuckled and said, "It's happening, Kate." Kate is my husband's ex-girlfriend from 8 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5124

You deserved it

321

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/7/2013 20:26 - Canada - Poplar Hill

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

I agree, your life sucks

48147

You deserved it

15739

Favorite

By Person - 11/11/2016 02:04

Today, my cousin invited me to an event that would be on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me, was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8358

You deserved it

2178

Favorite

By birdmagnet - 25/4/2009 19:12 - United States

Today, I spent 90 dollars and two and a half hours getting my hair done at a fancy salon. As I was unlocking my car, a bird pooped in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57067

You deserved it

12577

Favorite

By Anyonexx0 - 14/4/2015 18:15 - United States - Washington

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37655

You deserved it

3744

Favorite

By EconM - 3/10/2013 15:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went to one of the United States Mints since he enjoys coins. He looked at the money and seriously said, "I have such a hard on". He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51051

You deserved it

5310

Favorite

By SlappyMcGee - 8/1/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, I was talking to a hot girl at the bus stop. She seemed interested in me and I was feeling a connection forming. When the bus came, I offered to let her board first, but she said it "wasn't her bus" and said goodbye. Later, I realized I'd spent 20 minutes making moves on a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22110

You deserved it

7131

Favorite

By hyper12332 - 29/4/2009 14:35 - Australia

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

69934

You deserved it

31281

Favorite

By Anonymous - 6/3/2016 18:49 - United States - Atwater

Today, my slacker co-worker accused me of stealing because I got more hours than him. I was called into the manager's office and interrogated. They believed him, and sent me home for the day. I guess it pays off being the boss's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18952

You deserved it

1201

Favorite

By for my brother in law - 27/7/2016 07:10 - United States - Oxnard

Today, I sent a love message to my wife asking if she was horny. Minutes later, I realized that I sent it to my mother in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17696

You deserved it

6638

Favorite

By thisismyawkwardface - 19/2/2014 07:17 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I was struggling through small-talk at a party where I knew nobody. Tattoos came up and I started talking about trendy, girly tattoos like feathers, anchors and infinity signs with stupid words in them. Turns out the girl I was talking to had all three. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43145

You deserved it

11893

Favorite

By fed up/turned off - 2/10/2013 05:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

41376

You deserved it

6739

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/3/2016 21:59 - United States - Richmond

Today, as a public defender, my client was actually innocent for once. I intended to utterly destroy the prosecution's case and demonstrate his good character. That plan went straight to hell when he showed up heavily intoxicated. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23258

You deserved it

1551

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/1/2010 10:16 - United States

Today, I was watching a horror movie with my girlfriend. Suddenly, the killer jumped on screen. My girlfriend screamed. I peed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37682

You deserved it

13745

Favorite

By "breejanai" - 11/4/2017 04:00

Today, while working as a veterinary assistant, an owner stood extremely close to me and kept accidentally petting me instead of her dog. After her dog was examined, she asked me if I'd ever had the chicken pox because she has shingles and it's contagious to those who haven't. I haven't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5311

You deserved it

272

Favorite

By ditched - 17/8/2009 19:49 - Canada

Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58880

You deserved it

6090

Favorite

By frustrated - 22/1/2013 07:20 - Australia - Mittagong

Today, my mother insisted I dress very smartly in suit attire for my first job interview at a hippy-style retail store. My interviewer wore a poncho. I didn't get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32052

You deserved it

7017

Favorite

By 530gangsta - 25/4/2017 16:00

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3231

You deserved it

387

Favorite

By Anonymous - 21/6/2018 19:00

Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3913

You deserved it

547

Favorite

By StayedHome89 - 20/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10672

You deserved it

28088

Favorite

By pchemist - 22/2/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks

89141

You deserved it

6942

Favorite

By Anonymous - 24/6/2019 12:00

Today, I needed to get blood drawn. Apparently, my veins are too thin and no blood would flow into the tube. I'm afraid of needles, and was just poked with some unsuccessfully, and I have to go back next week to try again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1499

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By kte - 30/12/2010 10:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25097

You deserved it

2588

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/7/2014 16:04 - United States - Pompano Beach

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46206

You deserved it

6752

Favorite

By Wow - 4/9/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53767

You deserved it

3279

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/10/2018 14:00

Today, I splurged thousands of dollars on the breed of dog that I've loved since I was a kid from a reputable breeder. He is allergic to all food except the 24lb food for $70 and has sensitivities galore, including a seizure from a shot. I've spent $5,000 in vet bills in the first week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1692

You deserved it

2990

Favorite

By Godfree - 25/2/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I was walking to a meeting and saw two girls trying to jump start a car in the rain. Thinking I'd be a gentleman and help them, I offered to assist. The girl whose car is broken down looks at me, looks at her friend, and says, "I think we'd better call the police." FML

I agree, your life sucks

43725

You deserved it

3207

Favorite

By random - 14/2/2012 18:05 - United States

Today, I asked a good friend what she thought would make me more attractive to women. Her advice was, "Don't be yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks

23292

You deserved it

3352

Favorite

By Anonymous - 26/11/2010 14:22 - United States

Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28020

You deserved it

6114

Favorite

By depressed - 22/2/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10730

You deserved it

26116

Favorite

By grenade - 17/7/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, I was at a club with my friends, when a group of guys approached us. It got quiet for a second, and I heard one of them say, "It's okay, I've got the fat one this time," then walk over and start talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37860

You deserved it

7868

Favorite

By Angry and Confused - 29/6/2013 09:55 - United States - Reno

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52970

You deserved it

2939

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By swanheart | 35

#6489337 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:28

No shame in losing a fight to a seagull, they are vicious sky rats!

By gosh_mate | 30

#6489350 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:51

I'm just imagining the seagull scene on finding nemo...
Mine mine mine mine haha

Comments

By hantu69 | 22

#6489336 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:28

seagull help you stay on diet . Haha

Rkikkas9713 | 25

#6489653 - Sunday 20 December 2015 22:06

How exactly is starving part of a diet?

By swanheart | 35

#6489337 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:28

No shame in losing a fight to a seagull, they are vicious sky rats!

shiba10 | 26

#6489359 - Sunday 20 December 2015 13:24

Haha I suppose so but they're just so savage... Seagulls 1 Me 0 :(

JMichael | 25

#6489369 - Sunday 20 December 2015 14:14

No what OP should of done was chase that seagull down and get his damn sandwich back in any way possible.

swanheart | 35

#6489476 - Sunday 20 December 2015 17:45

Possibly #18 but I think he might have struggled to follow the bird if it decided to fly off...!

gobiteme2 | 34

#6489625 - Sunday 20 December 2015 21:10

OP cheer up and get revenge. Most seagulls will come back to same spot to see if they can get some more. Ever seen a seagull with a mouth full of Tabasco sauce in their mouth.

By datass63826 | 9

#6489338 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:29

Happened to everyone before.

NeatNit | 32

#6489366 - Sunday 20 December 2015 13:52

I don't know about you, but I've never seen anybody's food get snatched from his hands by a bird!

momo3p | 22

#6489406 - Sunday 20 December 2015 16:04

lol I have

domolovesyoshi | 33

#6489594 - Sunday 20 December 2015 20:18

I have never once had this happen nor have I seen it happen however I have heard it happen before to my Dad

By TheLastCenturion | 19

#6489340 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:33

Happens, mate. Nothing to do but laugh it off and...yeah.

By KhaleesiDannie | 26

#6489341 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:34

Your lucky all it took was your food and not your SOUL*evil seagull laughter in the distance*

bigbluetardis | 21

#6489375 - Sunday 20 December 2015 14:19

*You're

KhaleesiDannie | 26

#6489386 - Sunday 20 December 2015 15:01

Y du I alwais git dwn vorts 4 tipos? fml

By Jachin357 | 28

#6489347 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:41

Those birds have no shame!

By TAntobella | 14

#6489348 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:48

Think in perspective. The cow your hamburger was made of: "Today after a miserable life spent in a factory farm, a human has stolen my calf from me, then cut my throat. FML"
We all steal from others, don't we..

TooManyProblems | 13

#6489358 - Sunday 20 December 2015 13:23

Found the Vegan

TAntobella | 14

#6489637 - Sunday 20 December 2015 21:23

Ahahahah 37 people can't handle the truth!

By gosh_mate | 30

#6489350 - Sunday 20 December 2015 12:51

I'm just imagining the seagull scene on finding nemo...
Mine mine mine mine haha

xKrisSmoove | 21

#6489387 - Sunday 20 December 2015 15:02

What if they are back in Finding Dory?

Avi8r | 22

#6489698 - Sunday 20 December 2015 23:53

This is actually really funny considering OP lives in Australia where Finding Nemo took place

shiba10 | 26

#6489723 - Monday 21 December 2015 0:30

Haha I live in the same city too

LostInTheZone11 | 28

#6490010 - Monday 21 December 2015 7:52

Mine mine mine mine mine. "Oh would you just shut up?! You rats with wings." Nigel the Pelican.

By FrankHotpants | 30

#6489353 - Sunday 20 December 2015 13:01

I definitely feel you on that one, I've had the same thing happen to me. Those shipyard seagulls are savages. I've seen them take a guy's breakfast burrito and come back to throw the aluminum foil at him.

By Tarlachia | 33

#6489357 - Sunday 20 December 2015 13:23

Next time, take something to catch/shoot down a seagull, strip the feathers off, and cook the seagull. Slap it between a pair of burger buns and eat it in front of those seagulls.

katelng09 | 16

#6489600 - Sunday 20 December 2015 20:26

Someone has a disturbing imagination...

SystemofaBlink41 | 27

#6489774 - Monday 21 December 2015 1:51

Fuck the downvotes, this made me laugh.