Happy Birthday

By shmoooopie - 29/05/2015 03:39 - United States - Medina

Spicy
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 633
You deserved it 3 893
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Top comments

604 11

If he asks why you're not using them, tell him you already did; they were accepted by a competitor for double the value.

714 14
queenofirony 12

Give him a coupon for one sleep on the couch.

260 5

Comments

Guru_Gal 12

@85: But you're not a girl, so you don't get why a ******* for just a 10 minute massage is a bad deal. Plus, IT'S HER BIRTHDAY. She shouldn't have to give him anything on her birthday.

12 1
TomeDr 24

That's worse then my (now ex) husband buying me a movie for my birthday that he knew I despised - "Porkeys". And, no, I do NOT want people telling me how funny it is.

4 1
fangirlofthings 21

I tried to watch that movie once. I got 10 minutes in and really considered suicide to make it stop :(

1 0
trey600rr 22

back rubs and blow jobs should be a standard thing not special occasions!

4 2
captainsmegma 12

I redeem coupons and on saturday I double them. So a bj would get you a 20 minute massage.

0 5
SplineMan 4

Are you going out with Joey Tribbiani by any chance?

2 1
devinaww 15

I get the part that a guy has to try to get some but he should probably have laughed it off when his gf refused to use them instead of getting mad

0 2
rydersmomma16 21

For his birthday and Christmas (or whatever religious holiday he may celebrate) give him a couple new sexy / cute outfits *for yourself*. Wrap them all up, and include a card letting him know that his present is getting to see you in a pretty new outfit, when he takes you to dinner the next night.

5 3
pizzafrommars 14

Well store coupons are usually for a certain amount off an item. They don't make it free.

0 10
leogachi 15

So it's okay to tell your significant other to buy your affection? That's what store coupons are for, making a profit. Coupons from your partner are supposed to be cute, bonding experiences.

7 0
BitterSavage 20

Doesn't sound that bad to me..

0 7