Happy Birthday

By shmoooopie - 29/05/2015 03:39 - United States - Medina

Spicy
Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 633
You deserved it 3 893
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Top comments

604 11

If he asks why you're not using them, tell him you already did; they were accepted by a competitor for double the value.

714 14
queenofirony 12

Give him a coupon for one sleep on the couch.

260 5

Comments

fader48080 10

that's not even a fair ratio. a good bj is worth at least an hour full body massage.

6 0
jakeyjakey1232 9

Just suck him off and stop complaining. You should be lucky to have him spunk in your mouth

0 2
leogachi 15

Giving head is not a privilege, but getting head is. He should feel lucky to have a girlfriend that knows it.

0 0
Aimeejasmine 15

Ahh this would be annoying to read if it wasn't blindingly obvious you'll never get a date if you're that incredibly sexist :)

0 0
In_Hiding1234 1

If you love him, put up with the bullshit coupons to make him happy

1 6
leogachi 15

That's not fair, though. He tried giving himself a present for her birthday and acted like he was doing her a favor. He shouldn't be rewarded for that.

5 0
iwadasn 32

So he's completely unwilling to do anything for you without first getting something in return, even on your birthday? A guy like that isn't worth your time.

3 0
Hop6e 22

You should make him one and see how he takes it.

1 0
Sheah_95 11

Kind of negates the whole "gift," thing if he wants something in return.

2 0
Ta2dMom 2

You don't add conditions to gifts. Adding conditions makes it a negotiated service NOT a gift. I'm really sorry you have a shitty (hopefully ex) boyfriend OP.

2 0
Weirddate 11

On his birthday, give him coupons that include the price of going down on you, buying you expensive gifts, following you around carrying your bags as you shop, and anything else that he will "enjoy."

1 0