Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Today, I decided to put my friend through the ultimate test of maturity: watching an episode of My 600-lb Life. He didn't even go ten minutes before he started making jokes. I didn't go much longer before I started laughing at them. FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML
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Top comments
MxAxRxCxO 30
Imagine his confidence when he stumbles across this FML
iSativa 24
You should be supportive of your son no matter how bad his actions are. Confidence is key.
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Comments (117)
ShaunaMarie88 9
Dane cook is ******* amazing!!!! love him and Kat Williams!
ziggysmommy201 10
Katt*
connorgrant98 24
Please follow up with some of his jokes
limegreenpoopie 31
Someone who finally agrees with me that Dane Cook sucks :3
esaliba 12
As his mother you should give him your feedback so he could improve and not just criticize him!
live2loveurself 11
Dane cook is amazing ...
SweetIam 12
It costs nothing to give a child of yours a boost of confidence!
joanna1995 20
That's no where near a reason to joke about killing yourself. That's a serious reality in millions of people's lives and it's not cool to use it that way. But if you really feel that way then you need to take action to not feel that way
AndyPurdy 31
that's a bit harsh coming from a parent
thefmlman2011 37
I've been told that the first time isnt going to be good, and at least his getting up there. He'll improve over time
tehdarkness 21
I think Dane cook is funny. Maybe you just have bad taste.