Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Today, I decided to put my friend through the ultimate test of maturity: watching an episode of My 600-lb Life. He didn't even go ten minutes before he started making jokes. I didn't go much longer before I started laughing at them. FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML
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Top comments
MxAxRxCxO 30
Imagine his confidence when he stumbles across this FML
iSativa 24
You should be supportive of your son no matter how bad his actions are. Confidence is key.
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Comments (117)
arianarochele 9
You're a little dramatic
SuculantWarrior 10
Just because you don't like his jokes doesn't necessarily make him that bad... was he boo'd off stage?
NateSchmitz 2
You sound like a dick. Your son should follow his dreams. If he wants to be stand up comedian, give him constructive criticism. Don't say you wanted to off yourself./:
krazayman 18
im very curious about what jokes he told.
mosquito19 14
I would prefer your son's joke than Dane Cook.
brooklynnhaley 4
Is your son named Cameron Silvest
123amanda123 14
It's not hard to make Dane Cook look like a comic genius, since he is one.
sabrinaMA 7
Excuse you, Dane cook is the shiz. Don't get mad because your kid sucks. Time to find a new passion.
soulcrusher11 16
that Dane cook is a silly bitch #awesome
ItCldBWorse 11
Everyone has their own sense of humour... and dads are notorious for a bad sense of humour. So you should be used to terrible jokes...
TheBelt 19
I think as a parent you should encourage him and give him advice for next time, no matter how bad it was.