Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Today, I decided to put my friend through the ultimate test of maturity: watching an episode of My 600-lb Life. He didn't even go ten minutes before he started making jokes. I didn't go much longer before I started laughing at them. FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML
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Top comments
MxAxRxCxO 30
Imagine his confidence when he stumbles across this FML
iSativa 24
You should be supportive of your son no matter how bad his actions are. Confidence is key.
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Comments (117)
Eloxia 7
Maybe he isn't bad, maybe it just isn't the type of humor that is for you. How did the audience react? Was there laughter or silence or booing. Not everyone has the same tastes. You can be supportive even if his comedy isn't your taste. If the audience also didn't like him, you can maybe offer to get him improve classes or something to help him learn new techniques.
vlalam 24
I wonder who reproduced him.. oh wait, it was ur seed and last time I heard, karma gets u.. haha jk.. i wish rather u supported him and helped him in a constructive way.. one needs guts to do a stand up comedy and u definitely cant
laden_swallow09 35
That was painful to read.
buckdharma 38
Wait, he had a whole hour of material? Maybe you could write some jokes for him. You know, support his life, versus life support.
Mermaidhead 13
perhaps instead you should have your son try his hand at karate, the Dane Cook of martial arts. ps. your son can't be THAT bad if he got an hour long gig. it doesn't sound like it was a 15 minute open mic type deal. clearly there's some people find him funny if there's any solace in that.
laurencarroll 11
How about we don't joke about suicide?
ScottLucky 18
Most intelligent comment I've read in ages!
soulreaper12296 28
Umm, Dane Cook IS funny!
soulcrusher11 16
soulcrusher11.
glassofwhiskey_fml 7
Dane Cook is funny, don't hate
soulcrusher11 16
hilarious guy that dc
ChristinePi 36
This was a funny FML until you said his jokes wanted to make you commit suicide. Not cool, suicide is nothing joke about or talk about so lightly.
the_aspect 28
I must agree with you about the suicide part. Suicide is not a funny joke nor something to take very lightly at all. There are alot of people left and right who literally take the way out by hurting them or another person.
Likian5 26
You're the parent, it's not like you can't be honest with him. Save him the embarrassment he'll inevitably face down the road.
Florentina 17
This is really harsh, no matter how bad your son was. I'm relieved you managed to resist heckling your own kid. Try to let him down easy...