Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, to cheer my girlfriend up after her mother died a week ago, I took her to a comedy club. The comedian's theme for the night happened to be mother-daughter relationships. FML
Today, I had a show with my drama group. My mom isn't a good drunk, she decided to scream along to every song and pass out halfway through. She was in the front row. FML
Today, I told my mom that I want to try out for a singing competition on TV, so I might be able to kick off my musical career. She convinced me to sing a song for her, so I did. Mid-way through, she lost it, burst into laughter, and told me to stay in school. FML
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said, "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
Today, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with, "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML
Today, I overheard my parents talking about me and discussing how I've never had a boyfriend. My mum laughed that maybe they should pay someone to go out with me, and my dad replied, "Heh, not enough money in the world." FML
Today, I announced to my family that I will be trying out for the next season of America's Best Dance Crew. They responded by laughing hysterically and my mother said "You guys suck, good luck making it past auditions". FML
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Top comments
kingkevin2001 9
You should've yelled "My mom is a judgmental bitch!"
briggsopposed 8
Don't you love it when moms think their children are failures
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Comments (102)
Lika1712 11
Aww FYL OP! I'm sure you'll find someone amazing soon, just wait for him :)
xxrogerthatxx 19
mom gets 10 points for originality tho
loathingloser 14
I saw Dave Chappelle live once
Nilorak 24
Ok
1two3four5six 23
I don't understand why OP was at a comedy show if she can't take a joke, though.
Onyxdragon 9
she tried to help, unorthodox, but a try.
briggsopposed 8
Don't you love it when moms think their children are failures
SystemofaBlink41 27
I know I do! Ha ha ha *laughter slowly turns into sobs*
kingkevin2001 9
You should've yelled "My mom is a judgmental bitch!"
113421145311564 14
Yes
MrConcise 35
Profile pic + comment = perfection.
LunarServant 10
I'll drink to that!
orsombre_fml 11
My mom doesn't want to know I am a lesbian!
JazNim17 18
"My mom keeps trying to hook me up with the weirdest guys!"
CockAsian 14
FYL indeed OP. There's someone out there for everyone! Just give it time!
Inediblepeaches 15
There are actually some people who just dont want a relationship in life. Maybe OP is aromantic?
Mauskau 36
Now I want aromatic duck.
cadillacgal79 32
^what
dantee2005 33
Well it could have been worse
Inediblepeaches 15
I cant see how that would be OP's moms problem. Maybe OP is happy being single. How would that even remotely effect the mother besides not having to worry that OP is having unprotected sex?
MrConcise 35
Lack of grandchildren, a single mother trying to make herself feel better, that awkward "my mom is more of a friend than a parent" relationship, etc.
Liamj774 36
I would then yell "I have a pathetic mom!"
tucansamTommyG 12
Pathetic isn't the right word
kingdomgirl94 29
My mom keeps budding in on my love life!
Earths_Venus 25
Wait, how is that her problem? And what happens if you want a girlfriend instead?
LunarServant 10
Imagine the look on her mom's face if that happens X3
gracehi 33
Boy, how rude of her! She stole your problem, OP! She should have let you tell the world you can't get a boyfriend! We all know you wanted to.
Daylightscar 13
No...no she didn't
gracehi 33
You know, you're very bad at detecting sarcasm.
Daylightscar 13
Well you see, sometimes you read things on FML and you think that person must be kidding, but no, sometimes people are just that stupid, and when I read that I thought you were just that stupid
gracehi 33
Nope. It was in fact you who was being stupid. ;P
HammyBear13 8
This is why we need a sarcasm font or emoticon or something.......
Nilorak 24
No.
kingdomgirl94 29
There are definitely times where I squint at something and read it a few times because I can't tell if someone is being sarcastic or stupid. Usually its about 50/50.