Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show, expecting to feel better about a difficult relationship. Instead, I saw a performance written by the girl who loves my husband, about my husband, and how she loves him. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Today, I decided to put my friend through the ultimate test of maturity: watching an episode of My 600-lb Life. He didn't even go ten minutes before he started making jokes. I didn't go much longer before I started laughing at them. FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I went to a comedy show with my mom, and they asked the audience members to yell out their problems as ideas for an improv skit. My mom yelled, "My daughter can't get a boyfriend!" FML
Today, my friends and I were feeling nostalgic and decided to listen to some of Dane Cook's old stuff. We got to "The Friend Nobody Likes" and I commented that I'm glad we don't have a person like that in our group. This was followed by a very awkward silence, and someone suggesting we listen to something else. FML
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Top comments
MxAxRxCxO 30
Imagine his confidence when he stumbles across this FML
iSativa 24
You should be supportive of your son no matter how bad his actions are. Confidence is key.
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Comments (117)
badgercheese94 16
Hey may be a bad comedian, but honestly, you don't sound like a delightful father. "Vaguely suicidal"? What is WRONG with you?
jordyn20915 14
your humor is just as terrible as his I see, great support there dad
seriouslygrowup 11
If your son was on for an hour he would probably have had good jokes (especially if you think Dane Cook isn't funny at all). If you suck in the first 5 minutes a light goes on and you need to get off stage. Him being on for an hour? Majority says he is probably a lot funnier than his oldman
el_angelroca 15
He did an hour of comedy? That's actually really impressive, most comedians would find that really challenging, I kinda wish I saw his set
thelastsongbird 8
Unless you were actually willing to kill yourself, don't say you were suicidal. Suicide isn't a joking matter.
flexseal 14
tell him to stick to stick to math
jay0627 8
If he is reading this its too late
Jennandco 25
He'll appreciate you going, though! Don't be too harsh when he asks for feedback, just praise him on a few things.. Like his confidence to go on stage, and then carefully advise him on how to improve :)
dawgsrb33 4
Dane cook is a comic genius , maybe you just have a bad sence of humor and this is an awful thing to say about your own son f his life for having such a nonsuportive parent .
the_aspect 28
Let's not talk about suicidal feelings and or thoughts, please