Today, while watching a man in front of me on the bus remove his cap to scratch his noggin, I noticed the swarm of dandruff that was about to nail me in my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dandruff got so bad that when I sneezed on the bus, it created a "blizzard" of dandruff, covering me, and two others in it. I'm now known as "Winter Wonderland". FML
Today, I was on the bus during rush hour. A fly started buzzing around my head, and I swatted at it, at the exact moment the woman beside me decided to get out of her seat and put her face straight in the path of my hand. FML
Today, I was taking the bus to work, when a man sat down beside me. The guy was nuttier than Ron Jeremy's ballsack, and had a face like a shovel and the worst meth mouth I've ever seen. I had to sit there for ages while he frantically muttered to himself and picked at my hair. FML
Today, I was riding on the bus, when I felt a weird sensation on my hair. The person behind me was petting it. FML
Today, I rode the public bus. When I got off, I put my hood up only to discover that the old man who sat behind me had used my hood as a trashcan for his gum and used Kleenex. I can't get the gum out of my hair. FML
Today, I found out there is such a thing as eyebrow dandruff, and that I have it. FML
Today, my dandruff issue is so awful that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML
Today, I was sitting on the bus on my commute to work, when I nodded off on the charming young man next to me. Something cold and wet touched me, and I looked down to see a small pool of my saliva collecting on my chest. The man thought this was hilarious. FML
Today, after seeing a cute girl on the bus, I tried to look cool by flipping my hair, only to smack the side of my head into the bus window. FML
Today, I was on the bus. I heard a click right before something small hit my cheek. I looked over to see the lady next to me cutting her long, dirty fingernails. The bus was too crowded to move and It was a 20 minute ride to work. FML
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Top comments
bigbadtim 7
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
TheRealBrianGrif 7
Open wide?
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Comments (127)
saIty 17
Did that stuff come at you in slow-mo? Sometimes things like that come at me in slow motion.
crimsonlover4 31
That's what she said
SupaHotFire 4
Probably shouldn't catch those flakes on your tongue...lol
Bigdanish9785 3
Ik I'm going to sound like an idiot, but what does OP stand for?
japtch 15
Overpowered.
dogpup4 23
Orignal Poster. In this case, OP is the person who wrote the FML.
japtch 15
Oh, and that. :)
FlyingWhisps 5
I sure hope you didn't have your mouth open for that. For some reason, I keep imagining the FML in slow motion where a cloud of flakes flows off the man's scalp into OP's horrified face. Hm, I am pleased :)
johnj1441 0
Mention head and shoulders. For men. It worksss. Open widee
wordbigbird 0
Shoulda scooped it up and sprinkled it back in his hair "I believe this is yours"
MoodyBlue320 11
Selsum Blue? Lol
andriahvega12 8
Aww that's a bummer I would have thrown up....
lildrummagrl19 0
You should have given it back to him that's just gross:)
leaaahx 0
Move?