Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, my therapist asked me if I’d been journaling as he suggested. I had to tell him that I don’t trust writing down my innermost thoughts anymore, because when I was younger my mom read by diary multiple times and beat me for what I wrote. So did my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Your therapist obviously thought you were a lost cause and was trying to get you to end it all. I'd check to see of she took out an insurance policy on you recently.
Pleonasm 36
It might have been a pane in the ash, but I bet that it was relieving throwing your worries our the window like that. Nothing to get burned up about.
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Comments (131)
liamjames2 12
That is worst advice i've heard from a therapist. Time for a new one perhaps?
Queensland 27
Writing problems down and burning them is a coping mechanism and it works for some people. Be a little more open minded
dhenri 9
I think it's good advice because you are destroying negative thoughts in a sense, OP shouldn't have lit paper on fire in his or her house.
thatkidhesh 11
writing down your problems and burning them is incredibly cathartic. not knowing that your trash can can't handle flames is not.
ChenEighty 20
Are you a trash can, or a trash can't?
feelingold 18
ermmm I'm guessing the therapist didn't expect him to throw his burning paper into...a bin (apparently) full of other flammable items. By any chance was as one of the "thoughts" on that paper "I am an idiot" ??
green2go 14
A metal sink or a BBQ grill would just be to mainstream for OP.
DocBastard 40
Your therapist obviously thought you were a lost cause and was trying to get you to end it all. I'd check to see of she took out an insurance policy on you recently.
Rddvl 11
That's extremely rude doc. I know your like royalty at fml but it doesn't give you the right to tell someone they are a lost cause, even if you were just being sarcastic.
KeXu 6
I detected sarcasm :/ Edit: aaand this comment was pointless
DocBastard 40
Rddvl - Sarcastic? Me? Never.
tmlp_fml 2
Nailed it!
BlueFlatts 20
That's what the 13 year old boy said.
robotiick7 23
Blue I have just favored that FML and this one from your comment
tragicnightmare 15
I bet OP was not so relieved after all!
Pleonasm 36
It might have been a pane in the ash, but I bet that it was relieving throwing your worries our the window like that. Nothing to get burned up about.
ManInTheMachine 20
Sill, that was a pretty ridiculous thing to do. If officers get called to the premises and start trashking questions, it would be best for OP to frame ignorance. After all, he doesn't want to be canned.
thepunman 11
What a load of garbage. All this trash talk you guys are throwing around? You are rubbish, the both of you!
domking1315 20
Op's getting burned left and right.
WhoWhat_fml 10
Sorry OP. I would of just tore up the paper or set it on fire outside on my driveway. I would consider getting a new therapist.
razz122 5
The therapist didn't tell him to light it on fire in a trash can. That was OP's stupid misinterpretation.
Chellybelly92 14
It's not the therapists fault that OP didn't have enough sense to do it outside.
gabbi630 16
Now she will think positive because she didn't die. So the therapy worked.
radmuffin 12
Would have* Seriously, it's not that difficult to get it right.
CorranH 3
radmuffin, as much as I agree with you, I can't bring myself to to give you a +1, because one thing I've learned in life is that no matter how annoying stuff like that is, it's impossible to correct it without sounding like a dick.
radmuffin 12
No worries. I knew it was going to come across like that. I even tried to phrase it in a relatively nice way. It just kills me that people still can't seem to understand basic English.
illegalbeagle69 23
Maybe yout therapist didn't think you would throw it in the trash can.. where things can catch on fire... maybe light it on fire and put it in the sink.
ColdplaySucks 18
Or perhaps setting the fire outside where nothing valuable would catch flame.
AurumPotestasEst 16
You forgot to mention that he should have set the fire on pavement so it doesn't burn anything else.
illegalbeagle69 23
yeah probably should be more specific
illegalbeagle69 23
.
INDYSTRUCTABLE 43
was the trash can empty before throwing the paper in ?
BlueFlatts 20
My guess is no. OP might have been worried that the trash wouldn't catch fire so they doused it with lighter fluid as well. Op: Ahhh! Too much! Too much! *Tosses flaming trash can out* Op: My Lawn!
s_reel16 16
Well at least you threw your negative thoughts out with it! :)
Laikue 6
WHY THE HECK WOULD YOU SET IT ON FIRE IN YOUR TRASH CAN? HE MEANT TO SET IT ON FIRE IN SOMETHING THAT WON'T GO UP IN FLAMES, LIKE A POT, OR AN EMPTY TRASH CAN. GOD, HAVE SOME COMMON SENSE.
liamjames2 12
step back, caps lock. chill out #10.
Queensland 27
LOUD NOISES!!!!!!!!
uoeno_fml 20
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT
illegalbeagle69 23
i like whispering too
JACKxRAWR 22
AHHHHHH! Am I doing it right? AHH, AHHHH!
olpally 33
You may be a pyro-maniac now. Nice job op. Jesus. Lol.
lulubelles 33
Then they'll definitely need some more counselling. Sneaky therapist!