Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, my therapist asked me if I’d been journaling as he suggested. I had to tell him that I don’t trust writing down my innermost thoughts anymore, because when I was younger my mom read by diary multiple times and beat me for what I wrote. So did my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Your therapist obviously thought you were a lost cause and was trying to get you to end it all. I'd check to see of she took out an insurance policy on you recently.
Pleonasm 36
It might have been a pane in the ash, but I bet that it was relieving throwing your worries our the window like that. Nothing to get burned up about.
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Comments (131)
chosha_fml 27
So you've got something to write next time then, OP.
rivaraven 35
Why did you think it's a good idea to burn stuff in your trash can?
minidrone_fml 11
Waow, there must have been some negative thoughts here !
hordriss 14
Why do that inside? That was a bit silly.
Lomus 24
AAs I'm sure everyone's pointed out, you should have lit in in the sink or something, where it won't light anything around it. YDI OP.
chocolatefrog28 29
Start another trend of writing down the good ideas you come up with, or positive lessons you've learned. Your first can be "Never light anything other than a candle on fire INSIDE the house"
Faiths28 12
Well....did you forget about those negitive thoughts?
disturbedrox11 17
I'm pretty sure your therapist meant for you to do that outside. And it's always a good idea to have water on hand when you're making a fire. That's the way I've done it before.
Eivana 37
Damn! Your negative thoughts just had to put up a fight, but you won! Good job OP! Way to show 'em!
athos1237 4
Try an empty metal trash can next time.