Today, my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fire to it. When I lit it in the trash can, huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML
Today, after I told my roommate last week she needed to find a new place to live because I thought she was psychotic, she set my house on fire. FML
Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML
Today, I decided to light a candle in my room. Since fire intrigues me, I put an old brochure into it. Paper burns fast, and now my carpet has a big, black burn mark. FML
Today, my boss told me to not burn the place down while she was outside. When she came back inside, I accidentally started a fire. FML
Today, my hand is covered in blisters because my boyfriend thought it would be fun to set an old insurance card on fire. Out of panic, he slapped the card against the wall in a failed attempt to put it out. Also out of panic, I slapped the flaming wall with my bare hands. FML
Today, my therapist asked me if I’d been journaling as he suggested. I had to tell him that I don’t trust writing down my innermost thoughts anymore, because when I was younger my mom read by diary multiple times and beat me for what I wrote. So did my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I lit a used tissue on fire in my room. Eventually, the fire became kinda of large (it was a big tissue) and when I blew it out, it fell on the carpet. Now I have a burn stain on it. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Your therapist obviously thought you were a lost cause and was trying to get you to end it all. I'd check to see of she took out an insurance policy on you recently.
Pleonasm 36
It might have been a pane in the ash, but I bet that it was relieving throwing your worries our the window like that. Nothing to get burned up about.
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Comments (131)
fljp 18
that's because you're not supposed to throw burning paper in the trashcan... you're supposed to release the burning paper and let it be blown away by the air, as if your worries fly away.
JimberlyHope 9
That's what starts fires. The burning piece of paper goes and lands elsewhere and then catches that on fire.
empbob 20
And remember, as Smokey the Bear says, "Only you can prevent forest fires"
fljp 18
the paper will have burnt up before hitting the ground. i have experience, haha. i use that kind of personal therapy a lot.
Danielle7994 18
75, Not if there's no wind
alycion 39
Ash tray or sink on the future works way better then a trash can
ScarletBloom 14
It's supposed to work this way. Burn and throw away your negative thoughts!
banemask 14
Today, I was hanging out in my back yard when out of nowhere my neighbor threw a flaming trash can out of his widow. FML
caitiebug1119 15
Didn't you worry about setting your yard on fire? Wouldn't it have been easier to just get a cup of water and put it out? You can carry it to the window while it's on fire, open the window, and throw it out without burning yourself or anything but you can't get some water?
murph_fml 21
Use the sink, retard.
Altrnate_Reality 14
those must have been some pretty negative thoughts!
xXNerrrdXx 16
Sorry OP but u could have done that out side, or just lit the paper with a lighter not set up a real fire xD
thew_fml 14
how many negative thoughts did you have, to go up like? seems like you used a ream of paper.
lwonderful 11
Thus the reason why you do it outside, in your sink, or in a fireplace