Today, while working as security for a football game, I told a woman she wasn't allowed to bring her Snickers bar into the stadium because no outside food was allowed in. She threw it at my face, then tried to spit on me. I hate people. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, a woman came up to the snack bar and ordered a pretzel with no salt. When I served her the food, she angrily complained about it having no salt, followed by her throwing the whole thing in my face. FML
Today, at my football game, I turned around to spit so that it would be away from my teammates. I ended up spitting on a 10-year-old kid walking behind me. FML
Today, while bagging my groceries at a store, a lady came over to me, took a good look at the food I'd bought, picked out an item and put it in her bag. When I confronted her, she called security on me and told them I wanted to steal her stuff. I got thrown out and she walked away with a smirk. FML
Today, I was chewed out by my boss for reporting someone not wearing a mask in our store, because, "no one likes a snitch." I'm the security guard. It's my job to report that to her. FML
Today, as an usher at a beauty pageant, I was helping other patrons when a group walked past me and sat. I politely asked to see their tickets, but one of the women got angry and ripped hers up to throw the pieces in my face. Without a ticket, I had to kick her out. The police were called. FML
Today, at work, I was screamed at and slapped by a woman for supposedly violating her 2nd Amendment rights. In reality, I'd simply turned her away from the 10 items or less line because she had well over the allowed number of items. I've no fucking idea what's wrong with some people. FML
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
Today, I assisted my first customer at my first job as a Target cashier. When I rang up this lady's items and gave her the total, not only did she hiss at me and spit in my face, but she also dragged my manager over and demanded that he fire me. He did. FML
Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML
Today, a customer asked a question I couldn’t answer. I asked if she would wait while I consulted someone else, but she spat in my face and stormed off. My manager saw, wrote me up for refusing to help, and gave the woman a gift card for her troubles. FML
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Top comments
Dukeje 0
Oh, dude that sucks...i hate most people too. Respect and courtesy to others seems to be a thing of the past.
DrAwesome 6
Dude, this was the best-worded FML I've read in a while. The ending gave me a giggle. :3
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Comments (151)
CreateZ 0
How about instead of no outside food, no fat asses? Problem solved.
Green_Eyed__Girl 0
THEN!
LoveINKs 0
Ur one of those UNARMED renta security Nazi's Huh? A candy bar seriously? Not like it was beer, ur a douche... I woulda told u I was a diabetic & I must have candy with me @ all times, THEN SPIT ON YOU, AND walked into the stadium WITH MY SNICKERS HA! Bet u applied to TSA first but were deniedLOL
deafeningsilence 8
Way to assume so much about an unknown stranger over the internet. How do you know she's diabetic? And how'd you know he asked her in a douche-y tone? Of all people, you sound like the douche. (Notice how I said SOUNDS, not IS.)
fearfulsymmetry 1
# 14 Go search up what a Nazi is. Then re-read this FML. The explain to me in ENGLISH how the OP is a Nazi. I am tired of people throwing around terms like Nazi, fascist, etc without knowing what they really mean. Yes, there are negative connotations to words like that, but that doesn't make them appropriate to a specific situation. Use them CORRECTLY.
romano07 0
he's not calling The OP a literal Nazi..
Bano360 25
You are the most stupid person ever 14. You have the intelligence level of a two year old.
Meeshiaa 7
Actually, I'm one of those United states air force security force's members. My flight chief voluntold me and other coworkers to do this job. Everything we do is closely monitored, and the moment we don't do what we are supposed too, than here comes the LOR or worse.
blacktower 13
So i guess doing your job is bad to number 14. 14 probably doesnt have a job to understand. Poor guy
eatlesschipmunks 0
What a bitch
musedrummer 0
I think FYL. You were doin the job your paid to do. Security rules generally arent flexible. And a snickers is quite hard. A hit on the head with one of those would hurt!
iHateThisLife 10
u throw it back at her?
perdix 31
It was a Snickers bar! That should be considered to be a tip! If she threw a jar of Marmite at you, that would have stunk.
hpfan777 0
then, idiot.
gallir24 6
That's what you get for being a cheap mofo (or what you get for choosing that particular job).
milf762010 0
#22 a job is a job. My boyfriend is a security officer at a casino, he cant stand his job. But its a job, it helps pay our bills. With the economy the way it is, a lot of people cant afford to be picky on jobs.
Rizzyk83 0
pick your battles. this was one you should have passed on
Kesler_17 0
Pass up doing his job? For all we know, the stadium he works at as a very strict no outside food policy. He was only doing his job. This shouldn't have even been "a battle." The inconsiderate lady should learn some manners and respect before she goes out in public again.