Emergency, Fire and Kids: Fire hasard - FML

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 625

You deserved it 3 062

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Same thing different taste

By SadDad - 22/09/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 352

You deserved it 9 806

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 468

You deserved it 5 231

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 06:13 - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 388

You deserved it 17 295

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 4 699

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 789

You deserved it 5 265

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 094

You deserved it 5 926

Loud fart

By naomi3271 - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 653

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 612

You deserved it 2 997

By Jen - 26/11/2018 07:30 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 266

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 529

You deserved it 6 595

Next

Top comments

bulletsinthewind 21

Sunday 27 December 2015 18:08

All in the name of science

stangbang92 17

Sunday 27 December 2015 18:13

Did the flame get sucked in?

Comments

Dexter83_fml 17

Sunday 27 December 2015 18:25

That sucks op. I'm sure it will all blow over.

Mahcookiez 15

Sunday 27 December 2015 19:01

How bad exactly?

Chinhull 22

Sunday 27 December 2015 19:28

hahaha! gawd damn kids! they gon learn real quick.

samantha_xoxo 5

Sunday 27 December 2015 20:00

What? ?

bustyou 15

Sunday 27 December 2015 20:06

Inverted farts are the worst , happens to the best of us

JKPwnage 27

Sunday 27 December 2015 20:34

...so what happened?

LPac5295 27

Sunday 27 December 2015 21:01

I've heard of firecrotch but never fire ass.

FiFaguY 20

Sunday 27 December 2015 21:15

There is a thin line between genius and insane

FSGInsainity 15

Sunday 27 December 2015 21:40

Did he light his ass hair on fire?

Skycop_S 23

Monday 28 December 2015 7:58

This made me laugh more than it should have.. ._.

captainsmegma 12

Sunday 27 December 2015 21:58

Somebody didn't teach the proper procedure for lighting farts. People some things need to be taught at home and not left to our public education system. Sounds like family quality time around the dinner table is needed.

andrmac 25

Monday 28 December 2015 0:51

That would make everyone leave the dinner table.

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The Top

Today, I looked for an affordable home. I'm on SSI but only on a bare minimum (less than $950 a month), but I'm by myself so I thought it wouldn't be a big deal. All the homes in my area are over $1k. When I tried to look for one with less beds and baths, they demanded I make an account before I could search further. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 109

Today, I got a warning at work for wearing my ear studs. Not only have I worn them the whole time for the last year I was here, I was unaware of this “rule.” I also was just told that the female employees are allowed to wear them, but men are not. “It looks unprofessional.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 134

The Top

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 782

You deserved it 6 140

Today, I found that someone had paid off my $16,500 student loan. I was so excited that I called my family and posted on Facebook about how awesome it was. Then I called the loan company and found out that they had just sold my loan to another company; no one had actually paid it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 483

You deserved it 14 191

Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 015

You deserved it 3 077

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 359

You deserved it 4 813

Today, I have an awful stomach virus. I can only drink liquids and can't eat anything solid, especially anything spicy. My dad forced me to eat the fajitas he'd made for dinner and screamed at me when I told him I couldn't, then screamed at me again for "wasting food" when I predictably threw up all over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 81

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 712

You deserved it 2 178