Emergency, Fire and Kids: Fire hasard

Fire hasard

By Anonymous - 26/12/2015 18:23 - United States - Ridge

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 625

You deserved it 3 062

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Same thing different taste

By SadDad - 22/09/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 355

You deserved it 9 807

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 468

You deserved it 5 231

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 06:13 - Australia

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 388

You deserved it 17 295

By Anonymous - 06/01/2015 16:40 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, at a candlelit dinner, I accidentally set my dad's leg on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 613

You deserved it 4 699

By wah wah "you raised him" - 22/04/2014 18:59 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 790

You deserved it 5 265

By derped-out sperm - 01/04/2014 21:41 - Ireland

Today, I had to rush my 14-year-old son to the hospital after he fell out of a tree while trying to take an obnoxious "extreme selfie". FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 094

You deserved it 5 927

Loud fart

By naomi3271 - 18/11/2019 20:00

Today, I accidentally scared my one year-old son with my huge, smelly fart that was really loud. He now won't come near me without crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 929

You deserved it 653

By Anonymous - 09/04/2012 22:32 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 613

You deserved it 2 997

By Jen - 26/11/2018 07:30 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my son decided he wanted roasted marshmallows. It would've been fine, except he put the entire bag into the oven I had preheating for pizza and caught it on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 439

You deserved it 267

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 529

You deserved it 6 596

bulletsinthewind 21

Sunday 27 December 2015 18:08

All in the name of science

stangbang92 17

Sunday 27 December 2015 18:13

Did the flame get sucked in?

Comments

freddygasman 18

Monday 28 December 2015 3:03

in the famous words of a classic rock legend "goodness gracious great balls of fire"

gobiteme2 34

Monday 28 December 2015 4:58

Doesn't sound like any great balls, just fire

leadmenot 11

Monday 28 December 2015 3:35

That ass that ass that ass is on fire

Anubis95_fml 10

Monday 28 December 2015 3:38

he deserves it.

writerchic85 25

Monday 28 December 2015 3:43

I think your son has the bigger Fml here!

anonseal 9

Monday 28 December 2015 4:13

Someone needs to monitor their children. Just sayin'.

uhohitslisa2 20

Monday 28 December 2015 5:35

You have an intelligent child.

Mike_Oxhard 14

Monday 28 December 2015 6:03

Please tell me he got it on video?

watermelon_bae 15

Monday 28 December 2015 6:05

I guess that situation was a real pain in the ass.

loubabe69 19

Monday 28 December 2015 6:18

I didn't know kids really did that.

SharSjar 7

Monday 28 December 2015 7:45

Your son is an idgit. People should understand with such actions, you are asking for trouble.

Keywords

Social Media Love Stalker Instagram Phobias Spiders Animals Embarrassing Ironic Transportation Ecology Health Bikes Work AITA Drunk Poopoo peepee Geek Facebook Weird Vacation Mysterious Gamers Video games Gross First Dates Smells Parents Technology Kids

The Top

Today, I had sex with someone new for the first time after my 10 year relationship ended. The person was a friend who had been making serious sexual references toward me on and off over the year I've known him. I don't know if I'm more embarrassed that he couldn't keep it up, or that I came from anticipation anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 281

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 2 183

The Top

Today, my husband bought me a bouquet of roses. They caused me to sneeze seven times in a row. That was the closest he's ever got me to an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 896

You deserved it 8 610

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 649

You deserved it 10 782

Today, my wife is angry with me because after she'd convinced me to grow out my hair, it exposed my receding hairline. I shaved my head to the same appearance as when she married me, so I could feel more comfortable with my own body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 112

Today, I ordered flowers to be delivered to my workplace on Tuesday. To myself. For my birthday. Because even though birthdays are posted in the monthly newsletter, mine gets left out every year. For the past four years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 948

You deserved it 1 093

Today, my friend invited me over for a sleepover. Only she didn’t tell me until it was time to go to bed that she expected me to sleep on the floor, as she had three dogs sleeping on the couch, and two more in her bed. She could’ve at least warned me to bring an air mattress or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 105

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 618

You deserved it 13 817

Fire hasard

Same thing different taste

Loud fart

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