Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML
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Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
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Top comments
cakefete2 30
Bet his idea of a dirty pic is a snap shot of a garbage can.
jdeezy01 13
There is a difference between dirty and filthy.
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Comments (82)
iiyahkinz 9
I find it funny when my man does it personally but if you find it gross, then tell him and if you want to spice your love life you gotta tell him/show him he's not a mind reader
worldclassrager 39
I think an example would be great...looks like to me he needs it...
nmrg 10
I get Dutch Ovened nightly. It's ****** awesome.
siggy_mcsigx 22
"Filthy"? Wrong adjective, dear.
Ins0mau 20
She's from the U.K. Filthy sex=dirty sex. Slightly different connotations. At least that's what I gather.
Mightytall 35
I laughed so hard I have tears in my eyes. Your man is a true comedian :-)
tman1985 9
you sure the tears aren't caused by op's bf's gas?
Metalkitty 15
Definitely sounds like something my boyfriend would do. ._.
XoAlexxxoX 5
Hahha!! My boyfriend does it all the time. Its called being comfortable around each other. It's not like you don't fart too!! Just pay him back with a Dutch oven when he least expects it lol
last12yeara 1
Men don't understand subtlety. Be direct and maybe you'd get the results you're looking for!
mikepzz 27
Beggars can't be choosers :)
RedPillSucks 31
next time, be more specific