Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cakefete2 30
Bet his idea of a dirty pic is a snap shot of a garbage can.
jdeezy01 13
There is a difference between dirty and filthy.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (82)
bethrh 49
He's definitely a keeper.
DocBastard 38
Now you know never to ask her for a little head.
gracehi 31
Well, jeez, OP. What the Hell DID you mean then? Seriously, be more specific. We're not all mind readers, ya know.
beautifulsoul89 11
You should have given him an example or explained yourself better. Filth was not a good word to use, should have said dirty or x rated...so I voted YDI on this one
Ins0mau 20
She's from the U.K. The word has a slightly different connotation there.
th3mai1man 6
So mature. :l
perdix 29
Is this National Dirty Talk Gone Awry Day?
dawood_k 27
Well it could've been a wet fart...hopefully he doesn't pull the covers and gas you. If it's a wet one it might feel like a typhoon coming at you and I'm pretty sure than also out (puke) out of you... Please guys this is FML it's gotta be sick responses to such sick posts!!!
lemondrop81 12
maybe he wanted to keep the bed warm? you should appreciate his efforts OP.
assm1234 11
At least he didn't say that he'd dick you down good...
Steve95401 49
He could have been worse by doing a "Dutch Oven" on OP.