Love: Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time...

By hanzastfu - United States

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

I agree, your life sucks

34712

You deserved it

9293

Favorite

Love

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Broken heart

You tried

By fuckthepopo - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29753

You deserved it

6443

Favorite

By Anonymous - 13/8/2020 02:01

Billy no-mates

Today, I feel both happy and jealous of my father. It's his birthday and he has received over 100 times more phone calls than me. I'd had two: one from my local bank manager and one from my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1218

You deserved it

256

Favorite

By ilovezim29 - United States - Windsor

Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26803

You deserved it

4857

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22144

You deserved it

6877

Favorite

By Anonymous - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52740

You deserved it

4855

Favorite

By hungry - Canada

Today, I'm participating in a 30 hour awareness-raising event on famine in Africa. I'm supposed to hand out leaflets to people from my booth. My school decided to hand out a literal crate-load of free cupcakes right in front of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23412

You deserved it

3179

Favorite

By raspberrysachere

Today, I was in yoga class. We were in downward-facing dog pose, and the male instructor stood behind me and gave me an assist/adjustment by pulling upward on my hips. As I left the class, I realized that was the most intimate touch I've ever received from a man. I'm a 25-year-old straight woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1723

You deserved it

212

Favorite

By oh, good - United Kingdom - Bath

Poor Mickey

Today, my cat was looking a little peaky. After craning my neck to check for lumps under his chin, he felt this was the perfect time to throw up a half-digested mouse onto my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1528

You deserved it

222

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I have a nervous tendency to rub my foot against the bar under the table. After the interview I noticed I had been rubbing my foot against the interviewer's leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24435

You deserved it

39249

Favorite

By Powerless - Australia

Today, I had a planned 12-hour power cut for maintenance work, which I'd forgot all about. In need of a shower before work, I spent 45 minutes boiling pots of water on the stove to take a lukewarm, 6-inch deep bath, before realizing my water heater runs on natural gas and was working fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9019

You deserved it

29625

Favorite

By tanksfan - India

Today, after secretly smoking for more than 2 years, I decided to quit. I come home from work and I see my wife holding a pack and asking me what was it doing behind the toilet seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7390

You deserved it

41775

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Mountain Home

Today, I read a seemingly serious article online about giving your smartphone some extra charge by putting it in the microwave for one minute. My phone is now fried. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20204

You deserved it

147483

Favorite

By Fennec - France - Paris

Today, my coworkers and I were comparing the backgrounds we have on our phones. They pretty much sum up our love lives; everyone else's background is a photo of their boyfriend or girlfriend. Mine's a photo of a lifeless desert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40423

You deserved it

4863

Favorite

By Tyler - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46123

You deserved it

9646

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10155

You deserved it

1021

Favorite

By "Lennie Mcfish"

Today, my girlfriend got mad at me. Why do you ask? She caught me masturbating even though she previously told me she won't have sex with until she's married. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3146

Phew, glad it wasn't me

510

Favorite

By lolmyfduplife

Today, I put my 5 month-old daughter in her swinging chair and walked into the kitchen to make her a bottle. When I came back, she was giggling because the dog was licking her face. It would have been cute, picture worthy even, if I actually had a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24622

You deserved it

2083

Favorite

By Regina - United States

Today, I got a job selling knives. I had training for 11 hours. At the end of the training session, the instructor promptly informed everyone that they had to pay $145 for a set of demo knives. I paid the $145. I went home and learned that it was a scam. I went back for a refund. They said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16378

You deserved it

55438

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Washington

Today, while using the restroom at my favorite cafe, I fell asleep for 30 minutes. There is nothing more jarring than waking up to the banging of 7 angry, urine-filled patrons viciously breaking down the only barrier between between you and your shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5175

You deserved it

2413

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48428

You deserved it

3365

Favorite

By lovebigmacs - United States

Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML

I agree, your life sucks

16104

You deserved it

41901

Favorite

By pennyhater - United States

Today, I was locked inside my dorm room. Yeah, inside. How? Some of my floormates decided to stick pennies in the door frame, which jammed the handle. I was stuck inside my room and had to pee really bad. I couldn't call an RA to get me out either. Why? I am the RA. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40282

You deserved it

4999

Favorite

By Georgia

Today, my boyfriend turned down a shower with me because he didn't want to get his hair wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40487

You deserved it

6030

Favorite

By Thanks Mom - 20/5/2021 08:01 - United States

Weird assumption

Today, I asked my helicopter parent mother if I could go over to a friend's house. She said no because her parents weren't there, and if she accused me of assaulting her, I'd have no defense. We're both 16, I'm gay and she's a lesbian. My mom is well aware of these facts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

949

You deserved it

124

Favorite

By Anonymous

I need it

Today, I wore crotchless panties to bed and my boyfriend didn't notice. It's been 10 months since we've had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1909

You deserved it

335

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I spent ages looking for a parking space at the mall. I saw a couple walking out of the mall and decided to follow them and take their space when they left. After following them for a good ten minutes, I realised they were heading to the bus stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9441

You deserved it

32719

Favorite

By noshow - United States - Richardson

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36952

You deserved it

2558

Favorite

By AllyCat - United States

Today, was my graduation party. My birthday was about a week ago so my parents combined the presents. I thought it would be something big so I hinted for a new TV. I got a snuggie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

63980

You deserved it

5493

Favorite

By laughing-stock - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

37873

You deserved it

5973

Favorite

By Anonymous - 28/3/2021 14:01

No thanks

Today, it's been since 2014 that I've been looking for a girlfriend, and the average response I've gotten was no. Today I got, "Ew, hell no." FML

I agree, your life sucks

816

You deserved it

142

Favorite

By worthless - United States

Downhill

Today, I was reading my boyfriend's online diary. It started off really sweet, saying he was in a wonderful relationship with me, and how he utterly adored me. It then slowly progressed into loathing and wondering what he ever saw in me, all because I have a low sex-drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33971

You deserved it

19292

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving home from swim practice with my mom. I glance over and see my brother's hot friend who I've been secretly in love with forever. He waved to me, and excitedly I waved back. I then hear my mom say "You're gonna die when you see how bad you look right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks

71498

You deserved it

5076

Favorite

By Dina - 15/7/2021 14:01

Golden child

Today, I found out my mother would rather sleep than attend my soccer games, volleyball tournaments, or see me win any awards. However, she was present to see the dog get potty trained, filming the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

856

You deserved it

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally clamped my hair straightener down on my ear. Eleven hours later, it still feels like I have a burning, swollen fireball hanging off the side of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30571

You deserved it

12182

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35091

You deserved it

6435

Favorite

By GoldenSteve - United States - Humble

Today, my gym teacher ranted about how the government should put all the death row inmates in a coliseum and film them fighting. I guess he lied when he said he only drinks at the weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22380

You deserved it

2518

Favorite

By tjm - United States

Today, after finally getting a job offer after months of unemployment, I found out that the person who was going to hire me got fired. Which means I'm not getting the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29591

You deserved it

2231

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34426

You deserved it

19341

Favorite

By aaannnddd there goes my boner - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at work six minutes late due to heavily congested traffic. This is just two days after my boss put out a memo saying that anyone who's late to work from then until the new year will have their holiday bonus pay forfeited. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46126

You deserved it

8390

Favorite

By zAstonish - Singapore - Singapore

Porn, comment

Today, I realized that my brother is one of those people who comment on porn. I found out about it because he commented on my video. FML

I agree, your life sucks

977

You deserved it

2448

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By irishdancer | 0

#640032 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:03

Wow. Your life sucks because your boyfriend would rather eat than hear you cry. Oh no.

By HarrietPotter | 1

#640033 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:05

I sorry. Sometimes my boyfriend has done this, too, although I think he's probably like that not because he doesn't care, but because he's not sure how to respond. Don't worry - just talk to him and hopefully he'll be a little more reasonable.

COMMENTS

By Maxine17 | 8

#640023 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:01

Well, least he told the truth!

_xxkitkatxx_ | 0

#640044 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:09

Yeah, but I don't think she wanted to hear it.

quirinus | 0

#640094 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:23

so did you get him a sammich?

Skull_300 | 0

#640120 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:31

Ah yeah, and get me a sammich too!

youreanidiot | 0

#640148 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:43

ydi it for dating shallow losers...

inconvienentgurl | 0

#640254 - Monday 26 October 2009 21:35

YDI for posting that on fml
n just leave him
he'll appreciate the time he did have u then...n be hatin cause he let u go
but really...THATS NOT AN FML ur that desperate for an fml u put that? way to go ppl who moderate...

resonant14 | 0

#640602 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:18

It'd be better if you would have starting TEARING up... and like shredding things. THAT would command some attention - fuck whining.

girandwogpig | 0

#640864 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 4:00

Well I hope you fed the man!

FMLrockzdude | 0

#970212 - Sunday 28 March 2010 23:29

so go make him a sammich!

sukatlife | 0

#1536649 - Tuesday 12 October 2010 8:24

um. I'm not sure but this fml was posted the day me and my gf broke up and it was cuz we never saw each other. I also say I'm hungry A LOT

By your_mother | 0

#640025 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:01

girl get in the kitchen and make him a sammitch

popoman | 0

#640611 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 1:26

What were you doing out of the kitchen?

If you were a good girlfriend, he would never ask that question.

Penetration | 0

#640739 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 2:41

#92,
I'm waiting for an FML from him about his girlfriend not makin' him a sammich.

vjj | 0

#926719 - Tuesday 9 March 2010 0:46

Reckon he got his sammich yet?

Elphieba | 4

#2117785 - Thursday 24 February 2011 10:25

If we get in the kitchen we poisoin your food.

By irishdancer | 0

#640032 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:03

Wow. Your life sucks because your boyfriend would rather eat than hear you cry. Oh no.

DarthVader77 | 9

#5514520 - Friday 31 May 2013 7:07

Sure, I'd take crying over eating any time. ;). Wait... I won't.

Hiimhaileypotter | 52

#5522081 - Wednesday 5 June 2013 17:18

#3- I took it as more of she's opening up to him and trying to communicate about their relationship, and he couldn't care less and completely tried to deviate from the topic.

By HarrietPotter | 1

#640033 - Monday 26 October 2009 20:05

omghehehe | 0

#640899 - Tuesday 27 October 2009 4:21

Yes, some guys don't know what to say. Its obvious when he said he was hungry or maybe he really was starving??? But really it sounds like a Timing thing.