Today, my boyfriend's response to me saying, "Most women like a bit of filth in the bedroom every now and again" was to start farting in bed. Not quite what I meant. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML
Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
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Top comments
cakefete2 30
Bet his idea of a dirty pic is a snap shot of a garbage can.
jdeezy01 13
There is a difference between dirty and filthy.
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Comments (82)
mosquito19 14
you can do it too. start picking your nose during sex.
ss_fml 7
Today, I said something vague to my boyfriend, but he's not a psychic so he didn't understand what I meant. FML.
8born8 18
They don't call it the 'fart sack' for nothing.
ladystate 22
Men will be men. At least he has a sense of humor!
jrock9093 18
Nasty!!! But I think a lot of guys have had to fart during sex
shank39 12
Men are dumb when you try to hint something with puns n innuendos... You need to tell them straight up ..
random_jay 6
Wait, he just started farting in bed? You're lucky to have had as much time as you did without the farts.
little_one1 14
Maybe you should have been more specific? Lol. Try telling him what you really want. Like maybe some handy-dandy rope and some eye masks? Or handcuffs, or whips, or floggers, or butt-plugs.... Hmm I really must end this comment. Typing about kinkery fuckery toys is making me all delicioso.
wholock 12
That username though.
Beepbeep7 14
Well at least he didn't shit in the bed.You should learn to be more specific with him.