Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
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Top comments
js2493 11
pretty obvious ydi here tbh Listen to the boss next time
abraybro 27
Don't let looks deceive you.
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Comments (94)
soulreaper12296 28
And now you learned the lesson of LISTENING to what your boss tells you what you should and should not do.
kkelly22 15
well, I think it's safe to say you totally deserved it.
domolovesyoshi 33
Total YDI, when it comes to animals always heed the warning.
saffy66 34
I bet you ignore wet paint signs too.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
I bet OP ignores "lead paint" signs
TheNewGuy03 29
I'd also be willing to bet that OP would also ignore a sign that read "WARNING: INSTANT DEATH AHEAD"
rustybucket 24
Listen to your boss?? YDI
AyeJay101 25
"DO NOT PRESS" -presses- YDI
JustTheTruth42 13
But what's the point of a button if it's never meant to be pressed?
TheNewGuy03 29
22, fair point there. But perhaps it's like the proverbial Big Red Button that launches nukes -- you never, ever touch it except in the absolute direst of circumstances.
StarkWolf_fml 23
cute but deadly
cheshireau 26
I hope you have had your shots, so you don't get ringworm and the like.
Earths_Venus 25
Having the tetanus vaccine won't stop OP from getting ringworm, as ringworm is a fungus and can only be treated with specific anti-fungal creams and occasionally antibiotics.
Calingaladha 21
Yeah, ringworm doesn't have a shot. They will give you a tetanus shot for a cat bite because puncture wound, though. Which is still a little dumb. The only other vaccine that might protect you against a kitten is rabies.
lostmongoose 23
I've always been told what you really have watch out for with cats is general infection. Their mouths have so much bacteria it can be like getting bit by a fluffy Komodo dragon.
Calingaladha 21
It's not so much the amount of bacteria they have, but the nature of the wounds. With a dog bite, you'll typically get a lot more open tissue damage, but cat bites are more like puncture wounds, and bacteria gets trapped in even after the external bit heals over, so they usually require antibiotics.
GhostFox 34
If that kitten gets euthanized because you decided to be an arrogant asshole and ignore your on-site teacher-slash-manager, I hope that someone kicks you in the groin, then elbows you in your throat, and then knife punches you in the kidneys, all while you choke to death on the guilt.
Kiernan151 25
The kitten probably wont since he was specifically told not to get close to it, at least when something similar happened at the local shelter here a few years back the dog wasn't euthanized.
Tegz0rz 12
Ah, feral kittens are difficult to handle, even for experienced carers. Listen to your instructor and have some self restraint. That being said, I hope that kitty does get handled by someone who knows what they're doing, so that it may be domesticated and homed.