Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
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Top comments
js2493 11
pretty obvious ydi here tbh Listen to the boss next time
abraybro 27
Don't let looks deceive you.
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Comments (94)
superwhovian 16
You only got the injury because you were an idiot. Listen to your boss and don't let looks deceive you. Any animal that you are told you shouldn't touch you shouldn't touch. Hopefully you learned from this
kimise 21
I would probably have done the same.
novapine 19
They can smack basically a few days after birth. I had a litter of kittens last year after I picked up a stray and 2 weeks old I was flinching when they hissed. Don't f*ck with cats.
Oceanborn_fml 24
They got themselves a smart one there. Seriously, though. Listening to your boss is generally a good idea.
CaroLouWho 10
I foster kittens and I've had some who weren't even feral but had no clue how to retract their claws, and they left my hands looking like I'd stuck them in a garbage disposal. Kittens can claw the hell out of you. Next time, listen.
NotSoCoolKid 15
At first I thought that sucks then I realized you were warned. Smh OP ???
SmDestroyer 8
I am both happy and surprised there is NO ONE defending OPs actions
ConfusedCat 11
You really don't know what a feral cat is, do you?
fml44fml 6
"Hey guys lets pet the adorable feral kitten because YOLO amiright" jk YDI! Though
Frustrated78 11
You sir, are an idiot. YDI