Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
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Top comments
js2493 11
pretty obvious ydi here tbh Listen to the boss next time
abraybro 27
Don't let looks deceive you.
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Comments (94)
PegLegRacing 34
I'm just happy to know natural selection is alive and well.
Thorzix 23
Seriously? You're told to be careful because it's feral and your first thought is "No way it's dangerous"?
HylianBadger 21
Word of advice, when you're being trained at a new job, it's best to listen to the person who is training you. They've been there a while, so they know the place better than you. You deserve every bit of it.
LyricaSilvan 30
Surprise. Even small, cute animals can mess you up if you give them a reason to. Maybe next time, listen when you're told not to touch an animal.
kennethlwinter 3
You are completely ******* stupid. You deserve it, and probably whatever the cat has transferred to you. I hope you get fired for your idiocy.
SfGhost25 8
Well guess you learned a valuable lesson. Bet you won't do that again will you
sophie0908 16
You're kind of a moron. If a cat's feral or even just mean you always wear gloves, no matter how big it is because size doesn't determined how sharp their claws are or how much they'll want to tear you apart. It could've easily nicked that big artery in your wrist. Also, when in training it's usually a good idea to listen to people who know what they're doing. Dumbass.
vanaathiel 13
Idiot, listen to the people who know what they're talking about. Now that kitten likely has to be put in quarantine.
hegchog12 18
When an animal is feral, chance are it won't take well to people. Before volunteering in an animal shelter make sure you have had real experiance with animals.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I agree. If you're going to volunteer or work with animals you need to have some experience, or at least some common sense and willingness to learn!
Lisa_Kdubz 20
As someone who works in a shelter, you should have been fired on the spot. You always have to be super cautious and follow all rules when around unknown animals. You are going to get yourself and probably some animals hurt too. Shame on you OP.