Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
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Top comments
js2493 11
pretty obvious ydi here tbh Listen to the boss next time
abraybro 27
Don't let looks deceive you.
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Comments (94)
deathstroke990 22
you're a dumbass
TaoShaman 24
I'd say you deserve that. Feral cats are not the same as a house cat. My arm got attacked by a cat on my first day at a cat shelter, and it was a tame, domestic cat that wasn't supposed to be dangerous. It turns out he was just very territorial about his things and had to be removed first, with a towel, before everything could be cleaned out. But this was a house cat. I can't imagine why you would just go around touching feral cats, especially after being told specifically not to. And kittens tend to scratch anyway. They don't really know when to not use their claws yet.
Khaleesi_D 9
I do, but the cats on my street are just strays, not completely feral, and I let the cats come to me instead of forcing them to interact.
coatl45 11
I do the same. Cats are difficult to deal with in any situation. Dogs usually give clear signs if they don't want anything to do with you, if you want to do anything with a cat, especially if it's a stray or potentially feral, then you need to let them approach, and keep your eyes glued to them so they won't catch you by surprise. Feral cats can be as bad as raccoons if they get ahold of you.
RoseRodent 8
Maybe now you've figured out what TRAINING is for. They teach you things, you listen because you're there to learn. You keep showing you don't listen, they'll look for a new trainee who does.
Deathly52 18
Make sure you disinfect, cat bites are notorious for infections due to the deep puncture wounds. And apply anti scar cream every day, unless you want to explain to any future employers why it looks like a blender attacked your arm.
fyl7899 12
Waiting for the first idiot to say "and this is why I prefer dogs."
moodyreallyrocks 27
9d7c1360
Kitouran 30
I think I speak for everyone when I say, 'What?'
TheNewGuy03 29
Nothing like an awkward post in hexadecimal to throw everyone for a loop
moodyreallyrocks 27
Could be worse OP! Just be thankful, that it didn't cause any permanent damage..
Tomryan279 10
You got what you deserved. Your boss told you not to touch the kitten and you did now you got hurt. Followers directions next time. Hope your ok?
delichick 27
I agree, YDI. Ive worked with people who dont listen and its fustrating. Yea kittens are cute, but when people, especially ones who are training you, tell you something, listen to them. You now have an arm thats scratched to shit and could get infected cause you were told not to do something...
kerorocks 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Something that millennials need to learn; you don't know everything, don't think that you know better than someone who has been doing a job for years that you just began, be humble and willing to learn.
Dale_shackleford 13
That's not a millenial thing, just s young people in general thing. Every generation has had that said to them.
kerorocks 12
Hell yes, now get off my lawn!
brocho 26
I actually don't understand why this is getting down voted. Sure, it's more of a young person thing than a millennial thing, but at this point in time most young people are millennials. And yes, young people do have a tendency to think they know everything and have the answers to everything and that their elders don't know shit. And boy are they wrong. I know I'm young too, but I actually listen to people more experienced than myself.