Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
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Top comments
js2493 11
pretty obvious ydi here tbh Listen to the boss next time
abraybro 27
Don't let looks deceive you.
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Comments (94)
yeongji 31
"Don't judge a book by its cover" - It applies to animals as well.
Wolfwhisper333 2
You deserved that one. any cat can be dangerous, tame or not. my own cat sank his canine teeth all the way through my arm a few months ago. OP, learn to listen to what the veteran pet care people tell you. they're veterans and in charge of training for a reason. Be sure you keep those scratches and bites clean. Cat bites even from a house pet get infected VERY easily. I flushed my bites with hydrogen peroxide everyday and put antibiotic ointment on it 4 or 5 times a day and washed my arm with antibacterial soap every day.
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
you're too stupid to work
SailorSolaris 43
Ok, sorry but YDI here. Feral = unused to people = let it get to know you before trying to pet/play with the animal.
ohSNAPyall 27
Eye of the tiger kitten.
TheInvisibleOne 31
Do you ever get the feeling that the other person in the story was really the one who submitted an FML, just because of how obviously they deserved it?
mullet3388 16
try listening for once, we can tell its not one of your skills
kalbrek009 20
You have to wear thick leather work gloves when trying to handle feral cats or kittens. Hope you don't end up with cat scratch fever.
Sansational_ 18
Vicious little bastards, kittens are.
sillygirl247 14
Well did we learn to listen? I mean come on are you 3?