Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML
Today, there's a stray black cat in my apartment complex. It had badly bitten me two months ago and I had to get several injections. Today the same cat barged into my flat when I opened the door to receive a delivery, and it attacked my cat. I barely managed to fight and push him out of my flat. FML
Today, a cat ran into the house and got cornered in my room. Animal control wasn't answering so I did what I could to try to lure it out. It proceeded to chomp down on my finger. Way to start the New Year. FML
Today, while I was at my girlfriend's house, I picked up her cat and held him like he was baby Simba. Apparently he didn't enjoy that, because he managed to somehow leap out of my hands and attach himself to my chest, claws extended. I now have four one-inch-long gashes on my chest. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
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Top comments
js2493 11
pretty obvious ydi here tbh Listen to the boss next time
abraybro 27
Don't let looks deceive you.
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Comments (94)
js2493 11
pretty obvious ydi here tbh Listen to the boss next time
teentee401 37
Not only has OP gotten injured, but he's showed his boss that he's not good at following instructions. Great first impression.
VeganVampyre 27
And also that he knows nothing about cats... Even the tiniest kitten has claws and teeth, and yes they can do damage if they feel threatened. ALL feral cats are dangerous and should be treated carefully no matter their age. OP shouldn't be working in an animal shelter if he a) doesn't know how to work with animals, and b) can't follow simple instructions about said animals. He's lucky his stupidity didn't lead to anyone else getting injured as well.
abraybro 27
Don't let looks deceive you.
TheNewGuy03 29
This made me think of the Irukandji jellyfish. Tiny as ****, but can totally murder you.
whysojealous 18
The cutest are always the scariest
HoboMeth 36
just remember, curiosity killed the cat
ragnarok1540 39
Well in this case, it looks like the cat killed (the OP's) curiosity ...
soulebelius 17
That made no sense to this story. Stick to meth.
Dale_shackleford 13
37, stick to first grade, like your reading level.
DylanHamer13 4
Oh snap.
mwali02 32
New employee follows directions... Poorly.
itsme82 18
Maybe you should listen to the person who obviously had more experience with the animal.
anyagrande 31
What the **** did you expect to happen, trying to touch a ferrel cat that has probably never had positive human contact before
Lalala579121 28
Yeah I would never touch a cat that is such a famous movie star, wouldn't want to mess up his fur.
amileah13 26
Well, you were warned.
ragnarok1540 39
You sound like you would get along well with the man who climbed into the panda enclosure at a zoo in southern China and was subsequently mauled. Just because an animal does not to look dangerous does not mean it can't cause serious injury ... especially since you were specifically warned about it. YDI!
engineerosaurus 26
You... are an idiot.
Xamry14 10
Cats are hard to read but they can be rehabilitated even if they are feral. But reaching in and scaring the poor thing to death is not the way to do it. Ydi
Earths_Venus 25
Yep I've rehabbed and rehomed about 5 feral cats/kittens in the past two years. Any that we can't rehab are TNR.
Sora_McKain 36
#35 Only five in the last two years? I've had way more than that. For some reason, I always get the feral cats.