Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Eyebleach

Eyebleach

By Nomoretexting - 01/11/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, I received a 4-page text message from my mom explaining what she was going to do to me tonight, in full detail. I'm one name below her boyfriend on her contact list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 477

You deserved it 2 595

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fight your own battles

By Anonymous - 01/09/2011 07:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my mum has been texting my ex-boyfriend to tell him what a dick he is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 717

You deserved it 4 785

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 05:33 - United States - Romulus

Today, I found out that the messages about the issues in my sex life that I'd been sending to my best friend had been sent to my mother via iMessage. She's coming over for dinner tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 044

You deserved it 9 012

By isystuff - 01/02/2011 05:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me and left me crying in the street. I then got a text from my mom saying how pathetic my love life was. Apparently, it was a mass text message and she accidentally added me to the list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 332

You deserved it 3 228

By wildthing - 01/07/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 597

You deserved it 7 222

HOW COULD YOU?

By mylifesuckssss - 09/10/2010 04:39 - United States

Today, I received a 7-page text message during school from my mom yelling at me because I ate her cereal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 946

You deserved it 5 937

Easy mistake to make

By Becca Velveeta - 26/10/2019 14:00

Today, my mother's boyfriend sent me pictures of my mom sucking him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 234

You deserved it 198

By Anonymous - 19/07/2015 04:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 226

You deserved it 5 013

By lisahb - 19/06/2012 22:16 - United States - Detroit

Today, my mom took me to dinner. She told me about an argument that she and her boyfriend had, and she showed me the texts. While reading, I learned that she smells his dick before sucking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 473

You deserved it 3 315

By ... - 18/02/2018 01:30

Today, I realized all of my boyfriend's and my dirty messages were being sent to my mom because I'd logged into messenger on her phone once without logging out. She sat me down and said, "I know your mouth's been on his wee wee." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 386

You deserved it 5 597

Unwanted guest

By MMM - 21/01/2014 23:26 - United States - Saco

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 561

You deserved it 11 457

andrewms 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:12

you know you liked it

picturetaker 0

Sunday 1 November 2009 12:23

hahahaha FYL. I always double check who I'm sending my dirty texts too. that would have been a bit awkward.

Comments

WoolyBully 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 0:06

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, would you capture it--or just let it slip?

jedanator 2

Tuesday 12 January 2010 19:48

Wow, my mom only tells me to do chores and homework, my mom's great.

chaos753159 4

Wednesday 20 January 2010 7:21

#32 his mom is the one who sent the messege and @op who knows she might have meant to send it to you 

nerf456 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 0:40

numba 1 so right

je_suis_mied 0

Wednesday 12 May 2010 5:05

EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

acthrower 0

Thursday 17 June 2010 5:10

What made you read all 4 pages? Seriously, just hit delete...

crazymunkees 2

Wednesday 23 June 2010 11:43

hahahaha that'd be soo funny if we saw another FML "today I accidentally sent a 4 page text to my daughter, describing in detail what I wanted to do with my boyfriend that night." Lmao, mom. and #52: She probably did NOT read it all, on my phone you can see how long it is without having to read it. I wouldn't have! that's just sick