Animals and Health: Threat Neutralized

Threat Neutralized

By Anonymous - 23/07/2018 18:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I farted so loudly in my sleep that it woke myself, my husband, and our cat. The cat let me know he was startled by clawing and biting the perceived threat, my bum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 274

You deserved it 717

Animals Health

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Top comments

beeferjay 34

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 2:38

They say cats protect from evil spirits... Maybe you let out some demons without knowing it

BurnInDemonFire 33

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 1:50

What a cat-astrophe.

BurnInDemonFire 33

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 1:50

What a cat-astrophe.

thelittlem 15

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 9:26

cat-ass-trophe

BurnInDemonFire 33

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 13:56

No, that crosses into extreme Dad joke territory, and I'm nowhere near close to being a dad, so I kept the pun simple.

beeferjay 34

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 2:38

They say cats protect from evil spirits... Maybe you let out some demons without knowing it

John Nemeth 14

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 3:31

And thus the term “Fart like an Egyptian was born!”

Glowworm56 26

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 3:02

Curiosity may have killed the cat but he'll be damned if your fart kills him!

RichardPencil 30

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 3:26

It’s amazing that cats instinctively go for the blowhole!

Donut_Wizard 23

Tuesday 24 July 2018 4:16

Sounds like the premise of a half-assed country song.

acmariner99 25

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 4:52

Cat: 1, Bum: 0

Madrias 36

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 5:36

The cat was just trying to save you from having another fart attack.

TCRII 29

Tuesday 24 July 2018 13:30

Your cat knows that you should never trust a fart.

Tarlachia 33

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Tuesday 24 July 2018 17:17

Since cats typically nocturnal, maybe he was trying to shut off the alarm with his eyes still closed? Cat: “Fuck, fuck! Where is it?! So damn loud! Shut up!”